Under the Surface
by einfach mich
Summary: Edward is married to Bella, but his friendship with his sister in law, Leah, is skirting the line. TwiKinkFest fic. AH, Cheating and smut.
1. Chapter 1

****Author's Note: ****This is a mulitchapter fic I am writing for the TwiKinkFest, there will be cheating and angst (points at the prompt). Don't like don't read. Thanks to Jessypt for being a great beta.

**TwiKinkFest Prompt: **Cheating. Edward cheats on his wife (Bella) with his sister in law, Leah. I want a build up of UST. Them skirting the line of appropriate that leads to them finally fucking while Bella is passed out in the next room.

* * *

><p><em>Envy is the ulcer of the soul.<em>

_Socrates_

"There you are," Edward answers the door with a relieved smile that Leah has come to enjoy far more than she should. "I was wondering if I was going to be eating alone tonight."

"Ye of little faith," Leah teases, shutting the door behind her and dumping her overstuffed duffel bag on the entryway floor.

"On the contrary, I have faith in you, Lee," Edward replies, picking up her bag from the floor and turning to head down the narrow hallway. "It's your ability to make it anywhere in a timely manner that I have serious doubts about."

"There was traffic, jerkface," Leah laughs, giving him a playful shove into the kitchen, and stops to inhale the delicious scent of seasoned meat filling the room. "Did you order out?"

Edward tosses her bag down through the doorway that leads to the basement and shakes his head at her. "Traffic? You live less then ten blocks away. I bet you didn't even drive."

"Don't change the subject. Where's that delicious smell coming from?" Leah starts wandering through the kitchen, searching the counter tops for the source of the smell.

"Check the oven," he replies with a chuckle and begins to set the table.

Leah opens the oven door and makes a show of gasping in shock. "Did Bella teleport back to cook for you, or did you cook in some kind of fugue state?"

Edward tosses a cloth napkin at her head. "Stop using big words that you don't understand."

"Fugue state is a rare psychogenic disorder often characterized by reversible amnesia for personal identity," she says in a droning tone and sticks out her tongue at him.

"Show off," he counters and pulls two beers out of the refrigerator.

"The man makes a roast chicken, and he calls me a show off," Leah mutters loudly, carrying the chicken to the table and setting it down with a flourishing wave of her oven mitt covered hands.

"Respect your elders and get me some butter," Edward scolds, setting down a bowl of dinner rolls as he takes a seat at the head of the table.

"Sure, I'd hate for you to break a hip, old man," she says, rolling her eyes at him before turning to head back into the kitchen.

"Watch it! I'm still spry enough to take you," Edward says with a wink and gently slaps her ass.

"Hey!" She yelps and scowls at him, while rubbing her ass.

Leah hopes that her feigned anger is covering up her flushed cheeks and hard nipples. She hates how intensely her body responds to even the smallest touch from him. Edward doesn't understand or even notice the effect he has on her, even when he is just being playful. Leah knows she should ask him to stop, put some physical distance between them to make it easier on her, but she doesn't want to. As pathetic as it is, these small touches and private moments with Edward are like a drug for her. She lives for them, and spends sleepless night replaying them in her mind when they're apart. So, she let's it continue.

When she returns, setting the glass butter dish in front of him and taking her seat beside him, he gives her a warm smile. Leah settles in, spreading her napkin over her lap, and places her hand into his waiting palm. His hand wraps around her fingers, sending a shiver of delight down her spine that she tries to cover with a shake of her head. She looks up to check that he didn't notice her slip, but Edward's eyes are already closed, his lips moving in silent prayer. Her chest tightens a little, and the guilt deepens. Not that she's Catholic or even believes in god, but falling in love with your brother-in-law is wrong, no matter who you pray to.

Leah takes one last glance at the sculpted features of his face before making herself close her eyes to his beauty and pretends to pray. In the silence, left alone with her own thoughts, Leah daydreams about the life she can never have. It's not right. She knows it, but that doesn't stop her from imagining for a few selfish moments.

In her mind she can see them spending every night like this, laughing and _together_. He would greet her with dinner, just like he did tonight. The house would be warm and filled with the sound of their happiness, and eventually with the sounds of their children's laughter. Edward would be a wonderful father; she knows it. In her mind she can see him cradling a dark-skinned infant in his arms, a proud smile on his face, and an overwhelming feeling of contentment fills her. It's a seductive fantasy that she shouldn't entertain as often as she does, but she can't resist.

"What's that little smile about?" Edward pulls his hand away, and she opens her eyes to see him regarding her with a curious expression.

"Nothing," she says with shrug, mentally scrambling for an answer that will satisfy him, and grasps at the first thing that comes to mind. "I was thinking you were more fun when you used to get high."

"Oh really? I guess I've become a bit of a wet blanket in my old age," he laughs, twin splashes of pink coloring his cheeks as he shakes his head.

"You need to stop saying that," Leah says, suddenly serious and unsure why. "You're only thirty, not a hundred."

"Says the fresh faced twenty-five year old with her whole life ahead of her," he mutters loudly and stabs a piece of chicken with his fork.

"I'm not a kid, jerkface!" she snaps, throwing a piece of her dinner roll at him that he easily deflects with the back of his hand.

"Funny, you still throw like a twelve year old girl," Edward teases and immediately ducks out of the way when Leah throws her butter knife at him.

"I'm going to kick your ass!" Leah charges toward him with her full water glass and manages to cover Edward with most of it, before he tackles her to the floor.

Edward pins her to the floor with his body, holding her wrists and gloats over having captured her so easily, just like he always does. She leans up to try to bite at his face. He jerks back out of her reach, so, she sticks her tongue out instead. He only laughs and shakes his head, spraying her with water. Leah showered him in turn with profanity and thrashes against him, pressing their bodies closer. His shirt is soaking wet, and ice-cold water is seeping through the fabric of her t-shirt, making her nipples hard again.

"Promise me you'll never grow up, Leah." Edward's eyes are bright and the curve of his lips mesmerizing.

"It's too late for that," she replies, breathless and shaken, while she imagines herself closing the distance to kiss him, like she's wanted to do for years.

"Doubt it," Edward says, leaning down to kiss her forehead as she tries to resist moaning out loud.

It's so painful to face. Despite all her yearning and dreams, the truth is it is one sided. Edward still see her as a kid, the little sister, and while he loves her, it's not in the way she wants. She hates how she keeps doing this to herself, keeps taking the table scraps of his affection and dreams of a future that will never be real. Edward isn't her husband, and never will be. No matter how much she loves him.

"Edward," she whispers, looking up into his bright, green eyes, and tries to fight the tears that are threatening to spill.

For a second she wants to end it, to confess her feelings and let the inevitable fall out finally happen. He would let her down gently and tell her how he only sees her as friend and sister. She would cry and eventually let go of him. It's the healthy thing to do, and it terrifies her.

"Wha-" Edward's cut short by the sound of his cell phone buzzing on the dining room table. "Shit, got to get that."

He's gone in a heartbeat, leaving her lying on the floor, a damp, emotional mess. Leah groans and stands up, collecting herself, and turns a calm, curious expression toward him. Edward is leaning against the table, studying his phone with a frown on his face. She wonders if it's the hospital, calling him in for an emergency surgery.

"I thought you weren't on call tonight?" She tries to sound causal, but her voice is still a little shaky.

Luckily, Edward doesn't seem to notice. His eyes never leave his phone, his fingers flying over the keys of his phone while he types a response to what must have been a text message. The look on his face becomes more severe and strained with each passing minute.

"I'm not," he sighs heavily, tucking his phone back into his pocket, but doesn't look up for a moment. "It's Bella."

"Oh," Leah replies, suppressing a cringe and an accompanying pang of guilt. "How's Bells doing?"

"Great, apparently," Edward replies without a hint of enthusiasm in his voice and sits back down at the table to stab at his food with his fork. "She made a big sell and is celebrating with her team."

"Good for her," Leah says, trying to put more effort into sounding genuinely excited and does a better job than Edward.

"Yeah, she's delayed her flight, but she promises she'll be home by Sunday at the latest," he sighs, giving his plate a forlorn look before laying his fork down and pushing back from the table. "Are you ready for desert? I'm ready for dessert."

Edward stands up and walks into the kitchen, not waiting for her to answer. He is obviously upset, his face has shifted through at least a dozen different emotions since Bella texted. Not that he is going talk to Leah about it. Not that he has to; she's been here for enough weekends to know that this isn't the first time Bella has blown Edward off.. He only gets a handful of days off that actually coincide with the free time in her busy schedule. One week a month isn't a lot to ask from your wife of seven years, but over the past year Bella has found ways to whittle it down to a few days.

Leah hates it, even though it gives her more alone time with Edward. She'd rather he be happy instead of brooding over Bella's absence.

"Did you say dessert?" Leah yells after him and tries to summon up a sincere smile. "You, Edward Cullen, made dessert?"

"Not just dessert!" Edward yells back through the doorway and suddenly emerges holding a platter, with a smile on his face. "I made cupcakes with _sprinkles_."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Edward Cullen?" Leah feigns a suspicious look and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Believe it! Now eat 'em and weep," Edward laughs while he walks into the kitchen, and Leah inwardly sighs in relief.

_**Seven years ago**_

_In the winter of her senior year, Leah's stepsister, Bella, brought home her new boyfriend to "meet the family." Everyone was excited to meet him, but Leah was annoyed she'd have to play nice with some chump that Bella met in her first year in college. Like the relationship was really going to last._

_When Bella walked into the living room with her boyfriend, Leah wasn't sure if she should laugh or feel sorry for the guy. He wasn't unattractive, quite the opposite, but he was wearing a cartoonish Frosty the Snowman sweater that looked like it belonged on a four year old. _

"_Leah, this is Edward," Bella said with a shy smile, her eyes never leaving her boyfriend's face. _

"_Nice, sweater," Leah replied, with a limp wave of her hand, ignoring his outstretched hand._

_Instead of being offended by Leah's obvious slight, Edward simply smiled a little wider and nodded enthusiastically. "Thanks. It was a present from Bella."_

"_I couldn't resist when I found out he was a fan of the old Claymation specials," Bella chimed in, wrapping her arms around Edward's waist and giving Leah a look that seemed to say: "Isn't he amazing?" _

_Leah didn't share her stepsister's enthusiasm in the least, but she did her best not to squash Bella's hopes. Even if the guy looked too handsome and confident to be worth her stepsister's time. After many a failed relationship, Leah had become a believer in the adage that if it looked too good to be true it probably was. She wasn't in the mood to stand around, talking about children's movies, while Bella pawed her douche of a boyfriend, who would probably be old news by New Years. _

"_Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was always my favorite," Bella exclaimed with glee and turned to Leah. "What about you, Lee?"_

"_I hated it! Rudolph cared too much about what other people thought, and that Yukon Cornelius was a dick," Leah snapped, mostly to end the conversation before it got started and to give her a chance to leave._

"_Yeah, he was," Edward said, his smile seeming to brighten slightly, and stepped closer to Leah. "I always hated how he picked on Bumble."_

_Leah immediately felt uncomfortable by Edward's proximity and surprising enthusiasm. "Who the fuck is Bumble?"_

"_Language, Leah!" Her mother appeared from the kitchen, carrying a tray of cookies and looking the part of the perfect hostess. "Come on everyone. Let's have a seat around the fire."_

"_He's the Abominable Snowman," Edward replied with a smile and gestured for Leah to take a seat on the couch first._

"_Oh, thanks," Leah mumbled and took a seat on the far end of the sofa, feeling awkward. _

_Edward sat down beside her, with Bella on his other side, and began to continue the conversation, much to Leah's dismay. "I really liked the Frosty Movies, though the song that it's based on is kind of depressing." _

"_Yeah, it's got to suck to come to life only to melt into a puddle in the spring," Leah commented without much thought and was treated to another brilliant smile from her stepsister's boyfriend._

"_Exactly," he said, but before he could continue Bella leaned forward to get Edward's attention._

"_Yes, Frosty is great," Bella added. Leah said a silent prayer of thanks for the interruption, until she realized where Bella was going. "Sue, do we still have the old Christmas tapes around?" _

_Leah suppressed a groan as she realized she was in for a long night of watching shitty holiday specials and old movies. It was one of the things she hated about the holidays, especially since she started spending them with her new stepsister. Bella was all about the cheesiness of the Christmas spirit. She had to do it all, from the decorations, singing carols, and even watching lame Christmas movies. Leah hated all of it. _

"_I'll go get Charlie," Leah said and tried to get up from the couch, but her mother's hand on her knee stopped her._

"_Seth is getting him," Sue replied before returning her attention to Bella. _

_A few minutes later, Leah's younger brother, Seth, appeared with her stepfather, Charlie, in tow. They both looked about as thrilled as Leah felt, but they all did their duty and played along. The rest of the evening progressed in the usual fashion. They had the required family meal, awkward gift exchange, and mind-numbing but traditional viewing of countless holiday movies. _

_Eventually, everyone went to bed. Leah waited in her room for a full hour and a half, flipping through her brand new copy of Jane Eyre, a present from Bella. She fingered the smooth pages of the book she hated and wished that just once, Bella would ask what kind of books Leah liked to read, rather than give her ones she liked. _

_She dropped the book on her nightstand and got up to press her ear to the door. All was silent. She threw her winter coat over her skimpy pajamas, figuring that her Quileute blood would enable her to deal with the damp December night. After grabbing the pouch she had hidden in the back of her closet, she carefully crept from her room and down the back stairs to the kitchen. _

_She made it out the back door and ducked into the shadows of the garage. As she rounded the corner something moved in the shadows. She froze, panic made her heart pound, and a cold sweat spread across her skin. For a moment she was sure it was Charlie about to bust her._

_There was no way she could get away with this; he was going to want to know why she was out here, and she really didn't want to tell him the truth. Luckily, the figure moved out of the shadows, chuckled softly, and stepped forward to reveal himself._

"_Beautiful night," Edward said with that same friendly smile and raised his cigarette to his lips._

"_Fuck! You scared the living shit out of me!" she hissed and shook herself to get rid of the last of the panic._

"_Sorry," he said with a shrug and leaned his back against the garage, exhaling smoke in a long stream._

"_Whatever," she grumbled, sitting on the ground, and began fiddling with her pouch. "Why are you out here?"_

"_Bella hates it," he said, raising the cigarette up. "I'm trying to quit, but..." His voice drifted, and he shrugged again._

"_Yeah, she used to nag Charlie about his cigars," she said, rolling her eyes while she pulled out her pipe and loaded the bowl. "Bella has a thing for trying to take care of people even if they don't want it."_

"_She does it because she cares," he countered, tipping his ash onto the grass._

"_Trust me, I know," she sighed, raising her pipe to her lips, but she stopped short to give him a stern look. "Let's make a deal. I don't rat on you, and you don't rat on me, deal?"_

_Edward's smile turned to a smirk, but he nodded, which was all she cared about. "Deal."_

_She took a hit off the pipe, loving the itchy burn of the smoke in her lungs. God, she needed this to deal with all the stress. Mom had been riding her ass about picking a college, like she was capable of deciding on important shit while she was trying to keep up with her schoolwork and preparing for the SATs._

_Edward was leaning back against the garage wall, exhaling smoke into the chilled night air. He looked so at ease, and she envied him a bit. Things seemed to be easy for him, and damn if he didn't look cool while smoking._

"_Can I bum a smoke?" she asked around a lung-full of smoke, trying to keep it from leaking out._

"_Depends," Edward replied, kneeling down on the grass next to her, and gave her a sly grin._

_She gave him her best bitchy look and leaned back a little. "On what?"_

"_Are you going to share that?" He casually nodded his head toward her pipe._

_She couldn't believe what she was hearing, so much so that she gasped and ended up choking on the smoke in her lungs. The sound she made was this horrible wet squeak that immediately lead into a fit of hacking coughs. She tried to stifle the sound with her hands, while Edward gently patted her back. _

_After she finally caught her breath, she slapped his hand away and croaked. "Are you fucking with me?"_

"_No." He sat back on his heels, pulled a small silver flask from his back pocket, and offered it to her. "Wanna sip?"_

"_Sure." She accepted it and handed him her pipe, while she took a swig of the sour tasting liquor._

"_Cheers," he said with a nod and took a hit from her pipe like a seasoned stoner._

_Leah couldn't help but stare at him and wonder how the fuck her sweet, shy stepsister had hooked up with this guy. When Bella was in high school she barely spoke to boys. Now, she was bringing home a smoking (in more ways than one) badass that could rock the shit out of a cheesy snowman sweater. _

"_This is really good," Edward commented, taking a seat on the grass next her, and handed back the pipe._

"_Reservation weed is the best in the Northwest," Leah replied, taking another hit._

"_I wondered if it was local," he commented, pulling out two new cigarettes and lighting them in his mouth, before passing one to her. Leah took the cigarette cautiously, her suspicion growing and making her suddenly protective of her stepsister. Bella could be annoying, but even Leah couldn't deny she was a good person. She didn't deserve to be jerked around by some con-artist dick playing the part of a nice guy just to get into her panties. _

"_So, are you serious about this whole deal?" Leah looked at him out of the corner of her eye, while she took a drag off her cigarette._

"_Huh?" Edward gave her a confused look and took the pipe from her lap to take another hit. _

"_This act," Leah said, tugging on his sweater and gesturing to his appearance. "The whole cool sweater guy that meets the parents and shit. Is this legit, or are you playing it up for Bells so you can take her v-card?"_

_It was Edward's turn to choke and hack. Leah, however, didn't touch him while he wheezed and struggled to catch his breath. She watched him with unflinching focus, wondering if he was feigning the coughing and awkward grin for effect, to get her sympathy. If it was it wasn't going to work. While she may not be best friends with her stepsister, she was family and that meant something to Leah. After a few minutes, he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and met Leah's gaze._

"_I like her, a lot," he croaked, cleared his throat again._

_Leah didn't reply right away. Instead she gave him a hard, penetrating look. He met her gaze with an expression of equal intensity. After few long moments of tense silence, she broke eye contact and lifted her cigarette to her lips. He continued to watch her, his expression softening slightly, while she took a drag on her cigarette and flicked her ash into the dark before finally responding. _

"_You better," she spoke in a stream of smoke and put out her cigarette on the heel of his shoe. "Charlie will blow your head off if you break her heart."_

"_I figured as much from the way he glared at me all through dinner," Edward chuckled and wiped at the black smear her cigarette left on the bottom of his shoe. _

"_I'm not joking," Leah insisted standing up and brushing the grass from her ass. "He'll fucking kill you. Then he'd go to jail, and my mom would be bummed. So, don't fuck it up!"_

_He put his cigarette between his lips and help up three fingers in a salute. "I swear I will not break her heart, Scouts Honor."_

"_That is so fucking lame," Leah laughed, gathering her pipe and lighter into her hand, before turning to leave. "Thanks for the smoke."_

"_Good night," he called after her from the darkness. _


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm stuffed," Leah announces, leaning back into the couch and groaning softly.

"Are you serious?" He gives her a playful shove and points at the empty cupcake wrappers she left crumpled on the coffee table. "You only ate two."

"I don't need the extra calories, trust me," Leah groans again, patting her stomach, and shifts to stretch out.

"You are not fat, Leah!" Edward looks at her lean figure and the small bit of her smooth stomach that is revealed by the edge of her shirt slipping above her jeans. Her skin is a dark, cocoa color, and a small voice in the back of his mind wonders if every part of her is that color. He forces himself to turn his eyes away and pulls the afghan from the back of the couch, dropping it onto her feet. "If anything you could do with a few extra pounds."

"Bite your tongue," she grumbles, quickly grabbing the edge of the afghan and pulling it up over her.

"You need someone to fatten you up," he teases poking at her through the loosely woven threads of the blanket, and tries to play off his concern over her recent weight loss.

He didn't make the cupcakes on a whim. They're her favorite, and he knows that during the week Leah survives on very little food. It's pride that keeps her from asking for help from Charlie and Sue. She's been out of school for over a year and has yet to get a permanent teaching job. The horrible economy isn't helping, so he tries to spoil her on these weekend visits, feeding her as much as he can and sending her home with a car load of left overs. It's the least he can do in exchange for her company and friendship. _Yeah, because it's only her friend ship that you're interested in, Ed._

The sarcastic voice in the back of his mind taunts him. He tries to ignore it, while he turns his attention toward the movie that neither one of them has really been watching. It's a romantic comedy, his choice, much to Leah's disgust. She always picks action or horror movies, which isn't really his thing, but he likes to be fair and gives her a turn to pick. Tonight, he wanted to escape his stress and anger, wanted to remember what it was like to be happy and in love.

Sabrina was one of Bella's favorite movies. While he preferred the original starring Audrey Hepburn, Bella loved the remake, saying that Harrison Ford was far more attractive than Humphrey Bogart. Edward didn't really care either way; he enjoyed the humor and the sweetness of the unexpected romance between Sabrina and Linus.

In some ways he could relate to Linus' sense of responsibility and stress from family obligations. After all, he was walking in his father's footsteps, about to finish his residency, and preparing to begin what his mother was sure would be a distinguished career in medicine. They were Cullens, and Cullens were nothing if not the _best_. Perfect marriages, beautiful children, and successful careers were practically in his DNA. If only he could feel the pride that was supposed to come with being so picture perfect.

It would be easier to feel like a success if he didn't spend almost every night alone. He hated how selfish it felt to not be happy for Bella. She was doing just as well as he was in her career. It was fantastic, and he still hated it. He barely saw her anymore, and when they were together it was like being married to a stranger.

Bella's life is Hale Pharmaceuticals. She is great at what she does, the best, just like every Cullen should be. He hates how the tone of his thoughts fill with venom whenever he thinks about Bella's work. It isn't right to be jealous of a job, but he can't help it. Her job is the reason they are apart, the reason she keeps putting off having a baby. It's the reason he spends his nights wandering around their enormous, empty house, feeling so desperately alone.

Leah chuckles beside him, her feet playfully kicking at his thigh, and he turns to watch the movie. The movie isn't as funny as he remembers, but Leah's laughter makes it seem better. It lightens him, the sound of her happiness and the feel of her warm feet pressing against his leg. He doesn't feel so disconnected when she is here, and he owes her so much for that.

"David is such a dork," Leah comments, shaking her head at the movie, and shifts her feet, pulling them away.

"Says the girl that's snorting," Edward says, slipping his hand under the afghan to grasp one of her feet.

"Oh, be careful," Leah pleads in a softer tone, and turns to look at him with a pained expression. "I was chasing after hyperactive toddlers all day."

"You still subbing at the daycare?" he asks, while he moves her foot to rest in his lap and starts to rub circles into the arch with his thumbs.

"Yes, not that I mind. Money is decent, and I love those little ankle bitters," she says in between groans, and closes her eyes.

"I'm sure they love you, too," he whispers, losing himself in the simple physical act of massaging her feet and allowing his mind to wander.

His mind spins an image of Leah wrestling with children on his living room floor. Her face alight with a bright smile and a look of contentment. He doesn't let the fantasy go too far. The feeling of happiness that fills him is tinged with guilt and self-loathing. It isn't something he should be thinking about. Ever.

"Ease up magic hands," Leah says, pulling her foot away, almost as if she knows where his mind went.

"Sorry," Edward apologizes, shifting slightly toward the arm of the couch, and tries to focus on the movie.

"It's cool," she replies in a small voice, shifts to her side, and stares at the TV screen.

They watch the rest of the movie in silence. Edward sits, struggling to relax despite the turmoil in his head and the aching in his chest. When the credits start to roll across the screen he turns to see Leah's eyes are closed.

"Lee?" He gently shakes her leg but gets no response.

He can't help but smile. This is typical Leah. Movies are like sedatives for her; she's even passed out in the movie theater. He sighs and scrubs his blunt finger tips across his scalp. There is no waking her once she is out this hard, especially after the day she had at work.

He quickly cleans up the living room, and turns off all but the hallway lights. Then he kneels beside the couch, taking in the sight of her sleeping form and the soft snoring. It is a calming sight, her peaceful face and the slightly upturned corners of her mouth, making it look like she is smiling. He smiles to himself and carefully pulls the afghan away before slipping his arms beneath her body.

When he hoists her into his arms with ease, his concern over her weight and health returns. He vows to fix her a huge breakfast in the morning, maybe even get her to eat some more cupcakes with her morning coffee. The thought cheers him while he carries her up the stairs and into the guest room. He is thankful he had already turned down the bed in preparation for her visit.

As he lays her down in the bed, she suddenly shifts and grabs at his t-shirt with a loose grip of her fingers, "Edward!"

"What is it?" He leans closer, wrapping his hands around her wrist and looks at her face closely.

"Don't hate me," she pleads, her eyes still closed, but her expression seems tortured.

"Never," he promises, gently tugging her hand away from his shirt and brushes his lips over her knuckles.

Her expression softens, and she grows silent again. He sighs, pulling away from her, and stands at the side of the bed for a long moment. Part of him wants to climb into the bed next to her and curl around her sleeping form. The thought taunts the hollow space in his chest that seems to grow wider with each passing night he spends alone in his own bed. The voice in the back of his mind tempts him, reassuring him that it isn't crossing a line, that it is not sexual, but Edward knows better. It could be the first step in the wrong direction, and once he starts down that path he isn't sure he will be able to stop himself.

With one last glance he resigns himself to finally turning away and quietly leaves the room.

**Six years ago**

_Edward leaned against the damp, tar-covered light pole and mentally berated himself for forgetting his coat again. Sure, it was a balmy sixty-five degrees when he arrived at the docks that morning, but now the sun was down, and the sea air was biting his skin. He thought the Chicago winters had prepared him for the cold, but on the coast, even in the height of summer, cold was an entirely different animal. It was damp, sharp, and seemed to dig into your bones. After a twelve-hour day of hauling nets, gutting fish, and chasing the guys around the boat, Edward was exhausted and freezing._

_The sight of the lopsided headlights on Leah's VW Rabbit was a blessed sight. He began to jog down the dock and into the parking lot to meet her half way. As the car came to stop he swung the door open and was met with a wall of grinding punk rock music screaming in his face. He smiled and jumped into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut. Leah was already turning the car around and burning a trail of rubber out of the parking lot, before he could fasten his seatbelt._

"_And you say I drive like a maniac," he remarked, leaning over to fiddle with the broken knob of the heater._

"_Suck it. You aren't driving," she growled a response around the cigarette in her mouth and pulled out on to the main road. "Don't get too comfortable; we're stopping for beer."_

"_You had a great day, too?" Edward asked, pressing his palms to the vent, while the heater blew cold air at him and made his skin ache._

"_I am never working at that fucking yuppie haven again," she launched into a tirade about the snotty customers at Newton Outfitters and told him for the hundredth time that she hated rich white people. "Except you, but you're a mutant and don't count."_

"_Thanks," he laughed, shaking his head, and started to fiddle with the heater again._

"_Here we are," she said, taking a sharp right off the road and coming to a screeching halt in front of a small dimly lit trailer._

"_You want a six pack of that piss water, right?" Edward smirked, while Leah glowered at him and tossed crumpled dollars in his face. "Keep your money. The rich kid can cover a sixer of Rainier."_

"_I'm not a charity case, asshole," Leah snapped, but he was already out of the car and slammed the door on her screaming._

_Edward walked up the rickety wood steps to the trailer door and carefully pulled it open. He could never get over the tiny, private stores on the reservation. It was like walking into someone's living room but with beer coolers and stacks of cigarettes. Leah explained that a lot of families have tobacco and liquor licenses, so they can save money by buying stuff in bulk. A few of them run these stores to maintain the licenses, though they mostly sell to family and friends without the mark up. While Edward felt awkward buying beer and cigarettes from an eighty-year-old guy sitting in a recliner, he couldn't argue with how much cheaper it was than in Port Angeles._

_The old man gave Edward a stoic nod and handed over a small pile of coins before turning back to his television. Edward grabbed his beer from the cooler and quietly let himself out. As the door closed behind him he was greeted with the site of Leah changing her clothes in the middle of the driveway. She was standing in her underwear, her work uniform was in a crumpled heap at her feet, and she had a t-shirt balled up in her hands._

"_Quite staring and get in the car," Leah shouted, pulling the shirt over her head, and leaned into the car to grab a pair of jeans._

_Edward quickly tore his eyes from her and ran over to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door, climbed in, and closed it, without glancing in her direction once. She got in, slamming her car door, and threw her work clothes in the back seat._

"_That is so much better," she sighed, putting the car in gear and hitting the gas hard._

_As they pulled on to the main road, Edward's cell phone began to buzz in his pocket, rescuing him from the awkward moment of self-consciousness. He dug it out and glanced at the screen before grinning like a lovesick fool. The phone was open and to his ear in seconds._

"_Bella!" he screamed over the music, and Leah immediately hit the nob to turn it off, plunging them into silence._

"_Edward, I miss you so much," Bella sighed through the phone, making his heart speed up and his palms sweat._

"_I miss you too," he replied, while Leah made a gagging gesture and almost ran them off the road. "Your sister misses you, too."_

"_Oh, tell Lee Lee I love her," Bella immediately said, sounding even more excited and happy. "Though, I'm totally jealous that she gets to spend so much time with you."_

"_Don't be too jealous. I stink like a sweaty fish and sleep most of the time I'm home," he reassured her and switch the phone to his other hand, so he could press his middle finger into the side of Leah's face._

_She laughed and pretended to bite his finger. He pulled his hand back and leaned back in his seat, letting Bella's voice drive away the cold and soreness from his body. She was telling him about how well her internship with Hale Pharmaceuticals was going and thanked him again for getting her the job._

"_I told you, it was all Rosalie," Edward insisted, feeling mildly annoyed at having to be reminded this whole situation was his fault. "It's her father's company."_

"_Yes, but you asked her to put in a good word for me," Bella giggled, washing away his irritation with the sound of her joy, and he told himself to just let it go._

_It was his fault for over-planning the summer in the first place. True, Bella was the reason he took the position on Billy Black's boat. She had told him how her dad said Billy was hurting for help, and Edward was looking for an excuse to spend the summer with Bella. Little did he know she would learn of an exclusive internship program at one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the country. The same company that was owned by Rose's father. He didn't have to ask her for the favor, but he couldn't help doing whatever he could to make Bella happy, even if it meant they would spend the entire summer on opposite sides of the country._

"_Actually, it's Emmett you should thank," Edward replied, chuckling and trying to keep himself in a positive space. "She's his girlfriend, after all."_

"_Fine, we will have to have them both over for dinner in the fall," Bella relented and began to talk about their plans for apartment hunting once they got back to school. "Did you ask dad?"_

"_Shit, baby. I'm sorry. I forgot," he apologized, stretching the truth a little._

_He didn't forget; he just wasn't in a hurry to ask Charlie for permission to share an apartment with his daughter. Not that he thought Charlie would kill him outright, Sue liked him enough to guarantee that Edward would at least a get a warning shot first. Despite his fear of Bella's father, Edward had a lot of respect for how protective he was. He couldn't say he wouldn't be the same or worse with his future daughters._

"_I love you." The words slipped out of his mouth, and while he was a little surprised he'd been the first one to say it, it felt right._

"_Oh, Edward," Bella began to cry, her voice suddenly shaky and garbled by her sobs. "I love you so much."_

_His heart nearly burst out of his chest, relief and elation made him lightheaded. This is what it feels like to be in love, to find the perfect person for you. Now, if they could just speed up time and get their life together started. He would talk to Charlie in the morning and get things straightened out. A future with Bella was worth facing down Charlie's shotgun._

_They talked for a few more minutes, and Bella told him she needed to sleep. He told her he loved her again before they hung up, and Leah pulled the car into the driveway of the Bella's childhood home. It felt like his home._

"_Edward and Bella sitting in a tree," Leah sang in a snotty tone and bounced in her seat. "K.I.S.S.I.N.G."_

"_Shut up," he laughed, wrapping an around her neck and pulling her close so he could rub his knuckles over her scalp._

"_Get the fuck off!" she yelled, pushing at him and finally breaking free. "Keep your sappy cooties to yourself."_

_She threw her door open and grabbed her tattered messenger bag. As she climbed out of the car, something tumbled out of the bag and landed on the floorboard. Edward immediately leaned over to grab it._

"_Hey, you dropped something," he said, picking up the dog-eared paperback and looking at the cover out of idle curiosity._

"_Give me that," Leah yelped, lunging for the book, but Edward quickly leaned out of her reach._

"_Anne Rice? Doesn't she write those gay vampire books?" Edward grinned at Leah's flustered expression, the skin of her cheeks darkening with obviously embarrassment, and her eyes widening with fury._

"_NO!" she spat, reaching out, and snatched the book from his hands. "It's about witches, asshole!"_

"_Oh, are they gay witches?" he asked in a mocking tone, and she slammed the car door in his face._

_He got out of the car, tucking the beer under his arm, and tried to catch up with her, but she was already walking into the house. Edward slowed his steps once he walked through the front door and found the living room dark. Leah dumped her things on the couch and headed up the stairs._

"_Meet you out back in a few minutes," she called down to him, and he watched her disappear._

_Edward grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door and walked into the kitchen. He dug through the cupboards, grabbing a bag of chips and a plate of leftover fried chicken from the refrigerator. By the time he was headed out the back door Leah had joined him. She was wearing a thicker coat and had her pouch in her hand._

"_Pothead," he quipped, pushing open the door and holding it for her to walk past him._

"_Shhhh," she hissed, grabbing the beer from under his arm, and headed toward the garage._

_She opened the door to the garage and waited for him to follow her inside. They hung out there when Charlie worked the nightshift; it was warmer and far more comfortable than sitting outside. Even if they had to crack the garage door to air out the pot smoke._

"_Mmm, fried chicken, gimme," Leah said, making a grab for the plate, but Edward twisted, blocking her with his body._

"_Give me a beer first, grabby hands," he said, giving her a stern look, and turned to lay out the food on the workbench._

"_Fine," she groaned, setting the beer down beside the food, and grabbed some clean paper towels for them._

_They sat on Charlie's beat-up couch, munching on chicken, chips and beer, while Edward tried to find something to watch on Charlie's black and white television. There usually wasn't much on that late, but sometimes they could catch a signal from a Canadian channel and get some hockey scores. Edward was trying to learn more about sports, since Bella's father seemed obsessed with them. Anything to get in his good graces was worth Edward's effort._

"_Just turn it off," Leah said and let out a loud belch._

"_Impressive." Edward laughed and gave her gentle pat on the back. "I think they heard you in the next county."_

"_Ha, ha, ha," Leah mumbled, and started to load her pipe._

_He watched her go through her little ritual like he did every night and then accepted the pipe from her with a smile. Edward had never been a big fan of smoking pot. Even when he did it regularly, it always made him irritable and paranoid, but smoking with Leah was different. As he exhaled a stream of milky smoke he could feel every muscle in his body relax, and his mind settled into a blissful haze. Leah took the pipe from his hands and called him a one hit wonder._

"_Hey, at least I don't read about gay vampires." He felt stupid making the lame argument, but his wits had left him with the pot smoke that fled his lungs a moment before._

"_Fuck you, homophobe," she grumbled and took a long pull on the pipe._

"_I've got nothing against homosexuals or vampires," he countered, watching his own finger waggle in the air and completely forgot where he was going with the conversation._

"_You are so baked," she chuckled, setting the pipe down and grabbing them both another beer._

_Edward sipped his beer, struggling to remember what he had been talking about and had a vague thought about a book. "What's your favorite book?"_

"_Uh…I don't know," she replied, her face scrunching up in a way that made Edward think of the Muppets, and he snorted a little. "What's yours?"_

"_That's easy, The Man Who Never Missed," he said with a grin, remembering his favorite parts of the book immediately. "It's about this man that realizes there's something wrong with the world and walks away from everything to start over. He ends up starting a one-man revolution that eventually brings down a corrupt government."_

"_Sounds preachy," Leah remarks with a raised eyebrow and takes a sip of her beer. "It doesn't have a lot of god talk in it?"_

"_No," Edward laughs and spills a little beer on his shirt. "It's more about being a good person and doing what's right, not matter what it takes."_

"_So does it have a happy ending?" she asks, leaning over to grab the pipe and lighter._

"_I guess that depends on your perspective," he replies, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the adventures of his idol, Emile Kadaji._

"_He dies, doesn't he?" Leah groaned._

"_How about you read the book and find out," Edward said, attempting to cross his arms across his chest, but forgot how to halfway through the gesture and gave up._

"_Fine, but you should read my book in return," she said, kicking his foot and put the pipe to her lips._

"_Sounds fair," he sighed and gestured for her to hand over the pipe. "It's about witches, right?"_

"_Yes," she hissed, a cloud of smoke slithering out from between her lips and curling around her face almost in the shape of a heart. "It's called the Witching Hour."_

"_Very original," he remarked, taking the pipe from her hands and placing it to his lips._

"_It actually is," she said, scooting closer to him, and yawned. "It's about this girl that finds out she's a witch. I don't really like her whiny ass much, but I like the guy she meets, Michael. He's a carpenter, but he can't work because he has this ability, psychometry, where he can sense things with his hands."_

"_Leah we can all sense things with our hands," Edward chuckles around a mouthful of smoke and starts to cough._

"_No, dumbass, like psychic shit, but with his hands," she said, slapping his back and continuing.. "I like him because he seems like a really earnest, good guy, you know? He's just a regular guy stuck in the middle of all this fucked up supernatural shit, and all he wants to do is marry the woman he loves and be happy."_

"_Sounds nice," Edward said, leaning back into the couch and laying his head on top of Leah's._

"_Yeah, it does," she replied with a heavy sigh._


	3. Chapter 3

"Want another piece of bacon?" Edward dangles the limp piece of meat in front of Leah's face and gives her a hopeful grin.

"God, no," Leah groans, slowly shaking her head, and finally drops her fork onto the empty plate in front of her. "I don't think I can move."

"Good," Edward chuckles, setting the bacon down on his own plate, and goes back to sipping his coffee.

"Stop looking so smug," she says, tossing her napkin at him and failing to get it halfway across the table.

"I'll take it under advisement," he replies with a smirk and leans back in his chair.

"Jerk," Leah mutters and continues to sulk over her full belly.

Edward laughs, setting down his coffee cup and begins to clear the dishes, taking them to the kitchen sink. Leah tries to get up to help, but he quickly pushes her back down into her chair and gives her a stern look. She crosses her arms and looks sullen.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Edward asks while wiping down the table with a damp rag.

"Laundry first," Leah replies, picking up her own coffee and taking a quick sip before continuing to answer. "I need some clean clothes before I can take a shower."

"You can just borrow some of mine," he insists, while he rinses the cloth in the sink.

"It's not a big deal to wait for a small load," she says, shrugging, and then looks up at him with an exaggerated frown. "Unless you think I stink."

"I wasn't going to say anything…" Edward lets his voice trail off, until her expression shifts to sincere concern. "I'm kidding."

Leah tries to play off her real concern over smelling bad with a roll of her eyes and stands up to take her cup to the kitchen. She wants to refuse his offer. There is no way she's going to be able to focus while she wears his clothing. Her mind toys with the idea that they must smell like him, the warm, piney and cinnamon scent that's wafting toward her right now.

"Just get in the shower, and I'll lay something out for you," Edward says right next to her face, his breath brushing against her skin and filling her nose with his coffee laced scent.

"Fine," she whispers, glancing up at him, and for a second she sees something in his expression.

Before she can put a name to it, he turns his back to her and starts to load the dishwasher. Leah feels strangely unbalanced for a second and out of place. She pushes away from the counter and mumbles a goodbye to Edward's back, making her way out of the room as fast as her feet can carry her. The strange feeling follows her all the way into the shower. Her mind replays the look on Edward's face in a never-ending loop. His lowered eyelids and slightly parted lips. There were splashes of pink across his cheeks, and the way his tongue darted out to lick across his bottom lip…

Leah makes the water as hot as she can stand it in hopes it will clear her head and to stop her from fixating on the look Edward gave her. It was too open-ended, too vague to truly translate. He could have been thinking about what he was going to make for dinner or been wondering about the weather. _Or he could have been thinking about kissing her._

Her mind taunts and torments her with the fantasy, while it replays the slow swipe of Edward's tongue over his bottom lip. She can almost feel it on her own skin. A body shiver runs through her, despite the water scalding her skin, and she closes her eyes against shame and guilt. She presses her face against the cool tile of the shower, wishing she could stop these thoughts and break this cycle of want, guilt and heartbreak that has plagued her for years. It is never going to be anything but an unattainable fantasy. A silly, painful, self-destructive obsession with a man that could never love her in the way she wants. Her feelings were infiltrating every part of her life, poisoning her mind and even haunting her dreams.

The foggy memory of a dream surfaces even as she tries to push it away, but it's useless. It has been embedded in her brain, like a fishhook buried in her skin, ever since she woke up this morning in a cold sweat. The images overwhelm her mind, bringing with it the fear and guilt that left her crying in the harsh morning light.

Edward stood over her with sad smile on his face. The sky above him was black, but the snow falling around them was a crisp white. When the flakes hit him they turned to crimson liquid that left red trails down his face. She tried to shield him, reaching out her hands to catch the snowflakes in her hands, but the snow turned to a waterfall of rain that quickly flooded the world around them. They were afloat in an ocean of black with only each other to cling to when the current eventually pulled them under.

Leah opens her eyes, trying to banish the image of Edward's blue, lifeless face and the bone-deep certainty that it was her fault. Her weight had been the burden that dragged him down to his death. In the dream she had cried out, begging forgiveness even as the water slipped past her lips and filled her lungs. She begged him to forgive her, wished she could take it back, and finally was overwhelmed by darkness.

She swallows the sobs that threaten to break free and moves her face under the spray of water, imagining it cleansing away the remains of the dream. It doesn't take a degree in psychology to understand the simple message of the dream. She needs to stop, to let go of her feelings. Nothing good has or ever could come from them. She has to move on before she ruins her life, or worse, Edward gets hurt.

**Six years ago**

"_Pass me the drip pan, Lee," Charlie's muffled voice came from under the Charger, and his right hand appeared, groping at empty air._

"_You know, I could just take it to Billy's shop to get the oil changed," Leah said, leaning down to place the stained plastic pan in his hands, and shook her head at his grunt of protest._

"_I am more than capable of changing my own damn oil," Charlie grumbled from under the car and then swore loudly._

_Edward jumped, nearly knocking Leah on her ass, and then profusely apologized. She gave him a long look, but eventually accepted his outstretched hand and let him help her stand. Though, she wasn't going to let his odd behavior pass without comment._

"_What's up, Twitchy," Leah whispered, poking him in the ribs with her finger, and was rewarded with another uncharacteristic jerk._

_Edward recovered quickly and gave her a nervous smile. "I'm just…it's nothing."_

"_Bullshit." She folded her arms and fixed him with a stern gaze. _

_She'd come to know Edward well over the summer they'd spent hanging out together, and while it had been a few months since they'd seen each other, the Edward she knew didn't act like a nervous kitten, jumping at every little sound. He was tense and a little sweaty. _

_Sure, it could be due to the natural atmosphere of hostility that permeated the Swan/Clearwater household during Thanksgiving. Leah's mother had very strong feelings about celebrating a holiday that was founded on betrayal and genocide. Charlie, on the otherhand, would do anything to make Bella happy, which included giving her all the family holidays she never got with him when she was a child. So, every Thanksgiving there was a silent battle of wills. The treaty line was draw between the house and garage. Which meant Charlie pretty much lived in the garage, while Leah's mother hovered over Bella in the kitchen, while she cooked Thanksgiving dinner. _

_Leah usually sought refuge in her room or hung out with friends, but that year she felt responsible for Edward. He wasn't aware of any of the tension. Apparently, Bella didn't think he would understand the situation or so she said when Leah asked about it. Leah suspected Bella was the one that didn't understand it or just didn't want to acknowledge the turmoil she brought on her father and the rest of the family. Bella liked to argue that Thanksgiving was about family not history, but if that were true then family would be more important than her stupid need to celebrate the stupid holiday._

_Still, it's wasn't Edward's fault that he walked, unarmed, into a cultural war, and Leah took him under her wing. First chance she got, she dragged him with her out of the house and gave him a run down on the whole situation.. She was surprised to see Edward's face transform into an apologetic expression and to hear him promise to speak with Bella. Leah told him it was very sweet but also completely pointless. When her stepsister got an idea in her head there was no dissuading her. Edward had nodded and commented that it was one of the things he loved about her the most. Her tenacity. Leah had another word for it, but she chose not to share it with her stepsister's obviously love-struck boyfriend. _

"_Okay," Edward hissed, grabbing her arm in an almost too tight grip, and pulled her in close. "I need your help."_

"_Uh...sure," she replied and wondered what the hell was wrong him. "What do you need?"_

_Edward leaned closer, making Leah feel that same odd uncomfortable swirl in her belly whenever he got close to her. "Just make sure he doesn't try to shoot me?"_

"_What did you do?" She tried to maintain a playful smirk, but Edward's face was so close and what he said was confusing her._

"_Just get my back, please," he pleaded, holding her gaze for a long moment, and raised his hand to her cheek. _

"_Okay," she replied in a daze and nearly fell over when he let her go._

"_Charlie," Edward said, turning to kneel in front of the car, and placed a shaky hand on the bumper. "Could you come out, please? I have something I need to ask you."_

"_Can it wait, Ed? I'm kind of in the middle of something," Charlie barked back, and Edward seemed to crumple a little._

_Leah immediately stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. She wasn't sure what he was so nervous about, but she knew it would help him to know she was there. It worked. He straightened and took deep breath._

"_No, sir. It can't wait," Edward finally said in an oddly formal tone._

"_Fine!" There was a loud clanging sound and another loud curse, before Charlie finally appeared from under the car. "Well, what it is?"_

_Edward was already backing up and nearly stumbled, but Leah caught him. She stood behind him, almost completely hidden, and kept her hand on his back. She could feel the odd trembling passing over the muscle beneath her hands and felt a pang of sympathy. Edward was always a little off balance around Charlie, something her stepfather often seemed to enjoy, but this was different. This was almost fear._

"_Charlie…sir, I would like to…that is to say it is my intention-" Edward sputtered and stumbled over his words, while he tried to spit out whatever he was trying to say._

_Charlie stared at him, a look of confusion and irritation on his face. Leah knew nothing good could come from annoying Charlie, so she did the only thing she could think to help. She slapped Edward's back hard._

"_I want to marry Bella!" Edward practically yelled it and nearly stumbled forward from the force of Leah's hit. "I mean, with your permission."_

_Leah and Charlie had matching looks of shock, while Edward fidgeted with his shirt. It was insane, way too soon, and fucking stupid. She couldn't swallow it, couldn't wrap her head around it. Edward and Bella were solid, that was for sure, but Leah still never thought that they would get married. Much less this soon. _

_For all his clumsiness, Edward looked determined. Leah knew that look and knew it meant that he wasn't fucking around. He loved Bella, and he was the kind of guy to marry the girl he loved. It made sense, even if it was crazy._

"_I don't know," Charlie said slowly, frowning, and slowly shook his head. "You're both so young."_

"_We're in love," Edward insisted._

"_Her mother and I were in love, too," Charlie countered, looking even more determined._

_Edward was taking a breath, about to speak, when Leah stepped forward. She held up her hand to silence Edward and walked over to her stepfather, a tired look on her face. Charlie gave her a suspicious look but allowed her to speak. _

"_Charlie, you want Bells to be happy, right?" Leah put her hands on her hips and gave her stepfather her best no-bullshit expression._

"_Yeah, what's your point?" Charlie gave her an equally no-nonsense look and folded his arms over his chest._

"_Edward makes her happy; even you can't deny that," Leah said, placing her hands on his arms and slowly unfolded them, and leaned in close to whisper. "He loves her, and he won't ever leave her. I promise."_

"_You don't know that," Charlie mumbled, his stern expression wavering, but the tension in his arms remained._

"_I know him," Leah replied, looking him directly in the eye and never wavering in her conviction._

_Charlie closed his eyes, and the tension left his arms. Leah stepped back and turned, knowing the outcome before he even spoke. She closed her own eyes, wishing with everything part of her heart that she hadn't done what she just did. _

"_Okay," Charlie sighed._

"_Thank you, sir," Edward said, sounding happy and energized. _

_There was a scuffling sound, and Charlie said, "I don't hug."_

"_Yes, sorry," Edward apologized, the joy in his voice never wavier. _

"_I should talk with Sue," Charlie mumbled, the sound of footsteps and the closing of the garage door signaling his exit._

_Leah counted the seconds of silence, unable to bring herself to open her eyes for fear of revealing herself to Edward. She hoped he would leave soon, run off to propose to Bella in some ridiculously romantic fashion that was befitting him. Maybe he would hide the ring in a piece of pumpkin pie, so Leah would be forced to have to relive this horrible moment forever. _

_Of all the men that she knew, why did she have to pick him? The answer was simple. She'd never picked. She never stood a chance. Edward was beautiful, kind, and one of her best friends. She was a goner from the moment she saw him in that stupid fucking sweater. It had just taken her a year to figure it out. Now, he was going to marry her stepsister, and he would be her brother-in-law. Leah would bear witness to the man she loved, loving someone else for the rest of her life._

_The weight of it all was threatening to suffocate her. It was all she had to not cry, but she wasn't going to let that happen. Not in front of Edward. She need to get out of this room, get away from him before these emotions tore her apart, but it was too late. _

"_Oh my god, Leah!" His arms encircled her waist, and she was off the ground before she could do more than squeak with surprise. "I can't believe he didn't kill me!"_

_He was spinning her around and pressing her close to his body, his arms like iron around her body, and his laughter like sparks, beautiful and painful to her ears. She opened her eyes and saw his dazzling smile. Her heart expanded in her chest, threatening to push the last of the air out of her lungs, and mercifully end the torment of being in his arms for the first time._

"_Thank you. I could have never done this without you." His expression of affection warmed her even as his words cut through her, and then to her shock, he closed the distance between them. His lips pressed against hers in a soft, sweet and closed mouth kiss. It was a gesture of friendship and love, that mocked the deep well of desire bubbling up inside her. She fought back a sob and gently pushed him away. He pulled back to regard her with a sheepish expression, color filling his pale cheeks and that same, blind expression of euphoric joy on his gorgeous face._

"_No thanks needed," Leah said with a shrug, struggling to smile back, despite the throbbing pain in her chest. "It's the least I can do for a friend."_


	4. Chapter 4

Seattle is beautiful in the fall, Edward thinks as a kaleidoscope of colors decorate his yard like party confetti. He remembers when they first moved here. Bella had wanted to move closer to her father after he was injured in the line of duty and forced into early retirement. It was an unfortunate accident, a drunk driver ran into his squad car, shattering his knee and cracking his pelvis.

Charlie survived and is able to walk without his cane, much to the amazement of his doctors. Still, Bella was understandably concerned about her father, so Edward agreed to move to a strange new city. It was a long way from home. He took comfort in the knowing that Leah would be nearby to keep him company.

Even though they've lived here for years, Edward hasn't made many other friends. Sure, there are a couple of nurses at the hospital that are nice, and he likes his colleagues well enough, but he was never really good at making friends. He had known Emmett since grade school. Truth be told, Edward owed most of his friends back in Chicago to Emmett.

Edward smiles when he thinks about how Emmett admired his yard when he visited over the summer. He was thankful they'd kept in touch and visited whenever he had the time, which wasn't often. He and Rose had just had another baby, a girl, Rebecca. Emmett had sent Edward pictures that very morning, along with a brief update on how his family was fairing. Edward could remember when Emmett swore he would never have children and insisted he would chase women forever. Now, he is the happy father of four children and a loving husband to a beautiful wife. The faintest sliver of jealousy slithers through his mind, tainting his good mood with guilt and frustration. He tries to ignore it and continues to drag the rake through the grass, hoping it will turn his thoughts away from things he can't change.

There are few things he loves more than the simple satisfaction that comes from household chores, like working in his yard. The sun peeks out from a clump of clouds and lights up the backyard in golden light. He stops for a few minutes, closes his eyes and turns his face toward the sun. It is something he hasn't done since he was a child, but there's something in him that wants the comfort of those simple pleasures back again.

"Leave it to you to try to tan in the fall." Leah's voice is a welcome interruption, the very sight of her smile lifting his mood instantly.

"I take what I can in this state," he admits with a shrug and leans on his rake, while he watches her bite into a cupcake. "I thought you were full."

"Hush. I worked up an appetite in the shower," she says around a mouthful of cupcake and quickly washes it down with a sip of coffee.

"Really? Doing what?" Edward laughs and can't help but notice how Leah's face instantly darkens with obvious embarrassment.

"Shut up!" She chokes a little and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Oh my god, Leah, you weren't -" Edward doesn't get to finish his question, before a cupcake sails through the air and almost hits him in the face.

"Do not say another word!" Leah yells, holding up another cupcake like it's a baseball, and gives him a challenging look.

"Okay, I'll shut up," he says, holding his hands in the air, and continues to laugh.

Leah still looks annoyed, but no longer embarrassed. Inwardly his is relieved. He hates to see her embarrassed and dislikes it more if he's the cause. He had learned over the years that making Leah angry was the best way to help her recover. Leah can handle being angry, but out of place or uncomfortable is much harder for her. If that means being hitting with food or ending up covered in some kind of liquid, it is worth it. For Leah.

"Are there any left?" He jogs up to the deck and grabs the coffee cup next to Leah's, giving her a nod of thanks.

"Yes, but I don't know if you deserve any," she replies, kicking back in a deck chair, and peels the wrapper off another cupcake.

She's wearing the jeans and sweatshirt he set out for her. He can't help but notice how the faded jeans hug her hips, or how the bottom edge of the sweatshirt is riding up to expose just a sliver of her stomach. That small patch of skin is going to be the death of him.

"I'm sorry for insinuating that you are as pure as the driven snow," he says in a formal tone, bowing low, and wonders if he's going to get another cupcake thrown at him.

"Apology accepted, Sir Galahad," Leah grumbles and kicks at his leg with her bare foot.

"Many thanks, my lady," he says with flourish and takes a seat in the chair beside her. "You should at least put on socks; it's cold out here."

"Really? I couldn't tell with seeing my breath and all," she replies with a shake of her head and continues to eat her cupcake.

"I'm just trying to keep you from catching a cold," he insists with a shrug and grabs a cupcake from the plate in her lap.

"Edward, I'm not a fucking flower," she groans, giving him an irritated look, and frowns. "I grew up on the coast. I've swam in the ocean during the winter. I can deal with a little autumn chill. Trust me."

"Fine," he sighs, slumping back in his chair, and begins to unwrap his cupcake. "Since you're such a rugged, independent woman how about you help me finish raking leaves?"

"I don't know. That sounds an awful lot like work," she says, giving him a sidelong glance.

"Think of it as paying for your free laundry services," he offers and takes a large bite of his cupcake.

"Paying for something that's already free is a contradiction," she points out, wiping at a smudge of frosting on her cheek, and nonchalantly sticks her finger in her mouth.

He watches her lips tighten around her slender finger, the hollowing of her cheeks, then the slow work of the muscles in her throat. It's like some kind of devious torture device meant to make him crazy. He turns away and pretends to be very interested in the side of the house.

After a long, awkward silence, Leah shifts in her chair and stands up, walking back into the house. He wonders if she noticed, and if he's made her uncomfortable. The thought sparks a pain in his chest. He can't afford to lose Leah's friendship. It's too important to him, and his ridiculous, inappropriate behavior has been skirting the line for too long. Edward closes his eyes and tries to rein in the panic tearing him up inside. He has to make this right, march in there to apologize, and beg her to forgive him. It's the only way to put things right.

"Hey, Cullen!" The cheerful tone in Leah's voice startles him as much as the hard kick to his chair.

He opens his eyes to see her standing over him, her hands on her hips and a look of amusement on her beautiful face. She quickly smiles and lifts her foot. He can't help but laugh at the sight of his old Doc Martens dangling from her slender legs. It looks like a little girl wearing her father's shoes.

"Come on. No sleeping on the job," she says with a wave of her hand and turns to walk down the steps that lead to the back yard.

She's not angry with him at all. Relief and joy fill him in equal measure, making him smile and his heart soar. He knows he is blessed to have Leah. Her friendship means so much to him, more than is probably appropriate. Right now, it feels like it is all he has left to cling to.

_**Five years ago**_

"_If you value our friendship at all you will stab me in the neck with that fork and end my suffering," Leah whispered, giving him a pained expression and leaning her head on his shoulder._

"_You know, I love you," he replied, lifting his hand to gently pat her cheek, and shifted his shoulder to make her raise her head. "But I'm too selfish to suffer alone."_

"_Some friend you are," Leah mumbled and stabbed her own fork into the delicate slice of cake in front of her. _

"_Quit pouting and eat your cake," he said, gently nudging her rib with his elbow, and she immediately stomped on his foot in return._

"_Shit!" He choked on a mouthful of frosting and started coughing._

"_Edward,__are__you__okay?__" __Bella__leaned__over__to__give__them__both__a__questioning__look,__and__they__immediately__quieted__down__._

"_Okay, everyone, what do you think?" Alice paced in front of the table and scribbled on her tiny notepad, while everyone mumbled non-committal answers. "Come on people, we have five more samples to try!"_

"_I'll make it real easy. Which one's the cheapest?" Leah folded her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair._

_Edward knew this posture and that it meant trouble for everyone. Alice turned to face Leah, her hands on her hips. The look on his sister's face was a mirror of Leah's own scowl. They'd only met yesterday, but they were already adversaries. Which made sense, since they were two of the scariest women he knew. _

"_This isn't about price. It's about finding the right cake for the wedding," Alice said, speaking through her perfectly straight teeth, and shifted her weight to cock her hip to the side._

_Edward wasn't great at interrupting female body language, but he thought it was some kind of challenge, especially since Leah was now leaning forward with her nails digging into the linen tablecloth. Her face was a mask of fury._

"_What matters is we don't bankrupt Charlie and my mother with this wedding," Leah sneered and pushed back from the table to stand. _

"_Oh, don't worry about that, Leah," Bella chimed in and stood up to cautiously approach her stepsister. "Edward's father is going to pay for everything."_

_Leah turned to glare at Bella, a look of astonishment on her face that quickly shifted to rage, and then she began to laugh. _

"_Of course," she said in a near hysterical tone and continued to laugh, bitterness tinting the sound. "Of-fucking-course!"_

_She turned her back on them and quickly walked out of the cake shop, still laughing. Edward sighed heavily and slowly stood, while Bella sat back down._

"_I__'__ll__talk__to__her,__" __he__said,__setting__his__hand__on__his__fiancee__'__s__shoulder,__and__gave__her__a__reassuring__smile__._

"_Thank you," Bella replied, patting his hand, and turned to lean her head on her mother's shoulder._

"_I__told__you__not__to__invite__her,__" __Renee__said,__gently__brushing__Bella__'__s__hair,__and__gave__Edward__a__dismissive__wave__of__her__hand.__ "__Her__mother__was__just__as__bullheaded__and__rude__when__we__were__kids.__Honestly,__I__don__'__t__know__what__your__father__sees__in__her__.__"_

"_Mom," Bella complained. "Don't be mean."_

"_I think your mom is onto something there," Alice added, sitting down on the other side of Bella and effectively shutting Edward out of the conversation. _

_He stepped back and watched them chatter on about Leah and the wedding. It was like being a stranger, but only he knew them. Well, he knew Bella and Alice, but since all this whole wedding planning had started they had both changed. Every waking moment was consumed with planning, color schemes, and decisions about the most ridiculous things. _

_Why should he care what kind of flowers they used to decorate the church? What difference did it make if they used a limousine or a town car to get from the wedding to the reception? Why in the name of all that is holy should he care if his uncle Marcus sat next to Bella's aunt Gladys? _

_Still these were the only things any of them could or would talk about. Bella was overwhelmed by it, but at the same time she shot down every offer he made to tone down the wedding. She kept insisting that she didn't want to disappoint Alice or embarrass his family by having too plain of a service. He didn't care if his snotty cousins had to sit on folding chairs in a Elk's lodge. All he wanted to do was get married and move on with their lives._

_He stepped out onto the sidewalk and looked down the street to find Leah leaning against a lamppost. A few short steps brought him to stand by her side, but she quickly turned her back to him and pointedly ignored his presence. He wasn't sure why, but lately she seemed to be more irritable than usual. She'd gotten into it a few times with Alice and even snapped at Renee when she made one of her many veiled insults toward Charlie. It wasn't totally out of character for Leah, but for some reason it felt off to him._

"_Please, Leah," he began, reaching out his hand to put it on her shoulder, but she shrank away from his touch and shook her head._

"_I can't deal with this shit," she said in a strained tone, but he couldn't be sure without seeing her face and wasn't sure what it meant. "I'm going home as soon as I can change my ticket."_

"_No, please," he insisted, tugging gently on her sleeve, and tried to figure out how to win her over. "I'll talk to Alice and get her to back off a little."_

"_This isn't about Alice!" Leah yanked her arm out of his reach and practically spat venom as she spoke. "It's about Bella's selfish bullshit and YOU!"_

"_Me?" He stepped back, like he'd been slapped in the face. "What in the hell did I do?"_

"_Are you kidding me?" Leah turned around, with an enraged expression twisting her normally beautiful face. "I can't fucking believe you're going to allow your father to pay for all of it! Don't you realize how humiliating it's going to be for Charlie to watch another man pay for his only daughter's wedding?"_

"_It wasn't meant to be insulting," Edward argued through his lowered his voice and felt a little sick from her words. "We're doing it to make Bella happy."_

"_Of course," Leah yelled, throwing up her hands, and kicked the lamppost with her foot. "It's all about Queen Bella."_

"_Leah, calm down." He tried to put his hand on her shoulder again, but she slapped his hand away._

"_Fuck that! Fuck her and fuck you!" Leah screamed in his face, and he felt her words cut right through him._

"_Fine!" He turned on his heels and began to stalk back toward the bakery. _

_That was the last straw. He was tired of being shut out at every turn, especially when he didn't even want this big mess of a wedding in the first place. Alice was riding on every detail, and his mother wouldn't stop pestering him about the guest list. Bella's mother couldn't stop making inappropriate remarks about his ass, and he hadn't had a moment alone with Bella in months. Having Leah turn her back on him was too much._

_He was exhausted, frustrated, and felt so alone. Usually, Leah was his haven of sanity in times like these, when everything else was crazy. He could always count on her to keep him grounded, laughing at it all, but something was different. To have her lash out at him, to cut him off, and leave him here to deal with this alone…hurt. He couldn't comprehend what he could have done to make her so angry._

"_Wait." Leah's voice was soft. He was several feet away, but he still heard her. "Edward, I'm sorry."_

_He turned around to find tears streaking down her face and the saddest expression he had ever seen on her face. The sight was too much for him. He couldn't be angry with her when she was looked like that. Within seconds he was back at her side, his arms winding around her shoulders, and he pulled her into a tight hug. _

"_No, I'm sorry for snapping at you," he apologizes into her hair and was met with her shaking sobs. "You're right. We shouldn't do that to Charlie. I'll talk to my father. Leah, please don't cry."_

"_I can't do this," Leah said, her hands weakly pushing on his chest, and he released her but placed his hands on her face. "I should go."_

"_Don't," he begged, looking into her red-rimmed eyes, and fought back the lump in his throat. "I need you."_

_She seemed to crumple at his words, more tears flowing from her eyes, and the pain in his chest intensified. It was so selfish, but it was the truth. He needed Leah's humor and support to keep him sane. She had become his touchstone, and her friendship was one of the few things keeping him afloat. Edward wasn't sure he could keep from cracking under the weight of all this stress without her here._

"_Please," he said, wiping the tears away with his thumbs, and gave it one last try. "I can't do this without you."_

"_You have your family and…," she argued weakly, leaning her face into the palm of his hand and closed her eyes. "Trust me. It will be easier without me here making trouble. They never wanted me anyway. I don't even know why Bella made me the maid of honor."_

"_I do," Edward admitted with a laugh and eased her back into his arms. "I asked her to."_

"_What? Why?" Leah's eyes opened, and she stared at him in shock._

"_Well, I actually wanted you to be my best man," Edward said with a smirk and shrugged a little. "But Alice insisted it would be weird for you to be in a suit and would make some of the older family members uncomfortable. So, Bella offered to make you her maid of honor, instead."_

"_Shit! Is that why your jackass friend asked if I was a dyke?" Leah slapped his chest, a smile spreading across her lips and a little bit of laughter escaping her lips. "Now, I almost feel bad for kicking him in the nuts."_

"_Don't feel too bad. He thinks you're pretty cool because of it," Edward said with a shake of his head. "Emmett's a little weird."_

_They both laughed at that, leaning against each other. The tension and anger all but a memory. After a few minutes, Leah sighed heavily and turned to give him a serious expression._

"_So, this is what we're going to do," she said, stepping back to cross her arms over her chest, and Edward couldn't help but smile a little at her determination. "You're going to have the vendors bill Charlie for a smaller percentage of the charges. Your dad can cover the rest, and Alice can claim she got killer deals on all the shit. Okay?"_

"_Yes," he nodded and already started planning how he would explain everything to his father, who would absolutely understand the situation. _

"_And I will stay on one condition," Leah continued, holding up her finger for emphasis and looked him straight in the eye. "I get to be your Best Man, and I get to wear a suit, too. I hate those butt-ugly lavender bridesmaids' dresses, anyway." _

"_Deal," Edward replied without hesitation and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."_

"_Sure, sure," she sighed and hugged him back. _


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm beat," Edward groans loudly, and reclines back against the couch.

"Me, too, you slave driver," Leah complains, leaning over to pick the olives off the last slice of pizza, and takes a large bite out of it.

"Hey, I helped fold your laundry," he argues, picking up the discarded olives and popping them in his mouth. "I think that makes us even."

"Except you made me sweep the deck while you pretended to fix the hot tub," she says around a mouthful of pizza, and picks up her can of beer.

"I was not pretending," he argues, stealing the beer from her hand and quickly chugging the last of it before she can snatch it back. "I was checking the PH levels."

Leah didn't answer but glared at him instead, while she ate the rest her pizza. She hates it when he takes her food, not just because it's annoying, but because it's so fucking intimate. She watches him lick his lips, like he's savoring the last of her beer, and all she can think about is his mouth. The soft, pale, pink curve as it disappears into his stubbled chin. How only one part of his mouth actually raises when he smiles, due to some nerve damage he sustained during birth. It's not that noticeable; she never really saw it until he told her about it, but now it's all she sees when he smiles. She kind of loves it.

"Besides, you shouldn't complain," Edward says, standing up, and pushes her shoulder playfully. "I did it for you."

"For me?" She stopped herself from falling backward into the couch and stood up to follow him into the kitchen. "What are you talking about?"

"You said you were sore from work and now from helping me with the yard. So, I figured we could soak in the hot tub," he says with a shrug, while he walks over to the refrigerator and grabs each of them a fresh beer.

She panics at the thought of being in the hot tub with Edward. The thought of them both being half naked and wet is doing bad things to her head. Then he makes it worse by stepping close to her and slides a cold beer into her hand. His eyes are fixed on her, and he's making that same face he did earlier.

She scrambles for a way to back out, while he looks at her. He's smiling that beautiful, broken smile, and his eyes are sparkling with something that looks like hope. Leah's body is aching to lean forward and kiss him, but she gets a flash of an idea just before she loses her common sense.

"Can't do it. No swim suit," she sputters quickly and pulls away from him to open her beer.

"Let me worry about that," he says with a smirk and opens his own beer.

She sips her beer and watches him chug his in a matter of seconds. He seems different, more confident than usual. Edward crunches his can in one hand and tosses it into the recycle bin behind him. Leah claps for him, and he gives her an exaggerated bow.

It feels like they've stepped back in time, like this is the Edward of old, and she wonders what brought on this sudden shift. Then she does a quick count of how many beers they've had and realizes that he might be a little buzzed.

"Ed, are you sure this a good idea?" She sets her beer down and gives him a hard look. "Death by drunk hot tubbing is not what I want in either of our obituaries."

"I'm not drunk," he argues, shaking his head, and leans his back against the counter. "I'm comfortably numb."

"Quoting Pink Floyd doesn't instill confidence in your sobriety," she counters and feigns a yawn. "Besides, it's late, I'm tired, and I should be heading home."

"Don't go," he blurts out, closing the distance between them, and grabs her hands in his.

He's so close, and the look on his face is heartbreakingly needy that it almost hurts to look at him. She hates seeing him like this, so sad and lonely. Part of her hates it cause she knows Bella is the cause, and the other, petty part of her, hates it because she knows he doesn't want her company specifically. He just wants anyone.

"Fine," she sighs and gently tugs her hands away. "Though I need to rinse off, or your hot tubs is going to sweat soup."

"No problem," Edward laughs, his relaxed demeanor returning in full force, and gestures toward the stairs. "Go get showered, and I'll find you something to wear.

She runs up the stairs and takes the world's fastest shower, only taking time to shave her legs. It's not that she thinks anything is going to happen, but she'll be damned if she's going to let Edward see her legs looking like pine trees. She steps out of the shower, dries off, and looks at herself in the mirror.

Her face looks a little drawn; her nightmare and lack of restful sleep are leaving signs on her face. She wishes she could figure out a way out this, and she wishes that some part of her didn't love it.

"I left a couple of Bella's swim suits on the bed," Edward calls through the bathroom door, startling her out of her thoughts, and nearly gives her a heart attack.

"Thanks," Leah calls back lamely and continues to stare at herself in the mirror.

Is she really going to do this? The hot tub and Edward is a dangerous mix, but it was his idea. All she has to do is keep from gawking at his body too much, and she should be fine.

She walks out of the bathroom and looks at the swimsuits – bikinis, to be more accurate – he laid out on the bed. Leah pulls one of the tops over her B-cup breasts and sighs heavily. Bella has D-cups, which means Leah looks utterly ridiculous in the top. She tries on the bottoms and at least they fit.

Leah checks herself out in the mirror. As soon as she stands straight the top slides down around her waist. She groans and takes it off, scanning her own clothes for options. After digging through piles of clean laundry she settles on an old sports-bar. It's white and kind of thin, but it will stay on.

"Finally! I thought you'd fallen in," Edward jokes when she finally gets downstairs. He waves her over to where he's standing near the backdoor. He has a mischievous smile on his face and is obviously hiding something behind his back.

"Shut up and tell me why you're smiling, doofus," she replies and tries to step around him to see what he is hiding, but he shifts to block her view. "What do you have there?"

"A little something to surprise you," he says, shaking his head and giving her a playful frown "But I don't know if I should give it to you after you made me wait so long."

"Fork it over, buttface," Leah groans and wraps her arms around his waist to make a grab for his hands.

They're suddenly pressed together, and his face is buried in her hair as he laughs and shifts in her arms. She holds his hip and continues trying to feel what's in his hands, while they bump against each other. While she tries to not acknowledge how good it feels to be so close, he leans into her and bites her neck. Leah yelps and jumps back, her body humming with arousal.

"What the hell?" she complains, rubbing her neck and wishing it didn't turn her on so much.

"Serves you right for trying to peek," he replies with a smirk and snaps his teeth together for emphasis, which only serves to turn her on more.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Now show me!" She puts her hands on her hips, now genuinely annoyed and ready to call off the game.

"Fine," he says with a dramatic sigh and brings his hands around to show her a small cellophane bag with a small leafy bundle in the bottom. "You said I was more fun stoned, so I thought we could smoke some while we relax in the hot tub."

"Where in the fuck did you get that?" She laughs, snatching the baggie from his hand, and opens it to sniff at the contents.

"Emmett left it behind on his last visit," Edward answers, watching her with an amused expression on his face, while she carefully examines the marijuana. "Rose never lets him smoke at home anymore, so I picked up a bag for while he was here."

"It smells skunky," She eyes him suspiciously, while holding the green bud of weed to her nose. "Who do you know that deals drugs?"

"Mrs. Potter," Edward replies with a shrug.

"As in Harry's mother?" Leah gives him a look of disbelief, while she tucks the weed back into the bag and hands it back to him.

"No," Edward laughs and shakes his head. "She's one of my patients. "

"Oh, is she hot?" Leah tries to sound conversational, but internally she is hating this Potter bitch.

"Yes, for an eighty year old woman she is pretty smokin', actually," Edward replies, poking her in the ribs, and gets a slap on the hand for his trouble. "She grows her own to help with pain management and occasionally she will sell some to friends to help supplement her income. To be honest, I only bought it to help her pay her bills, because she wouldn't take my money without giving me something in return. I didn't even smoke any with Emmett."

"Always the white knight," Leah says, shaking her head and smiled. "So, do you have a pipe?"

"Nope," Edward answers, looking a little guilty. "I was hoping you had one."

"Edward, I haven't smoked in over four years," she snorts, rolling her eyes, and turns to walk into the kitchen.

"I wasn't judging you or anything," Edward quickly sputters, while he follows her.

"Yeah, sure you weren't." She walks over to the refrigerator and grabs a can of soda. "Do you have a pen?"

"Yes," he answers, walking over to grab a pen from the junk drawer, and turns to watch her pour out the soda in the sink. "That's rather wasteful."

"I love it when you talk like a schoolmarm," Leah mutters, crunching the center of the can, and snatches the pen from his hands. "It's so sexy."

"If you like that you should see me with reading glasses and bun," he replies, tugging on a clump of her hair, and watches her puncture the center of the can.

"If you make me fuck this up I'm going to jam this pen in your trachea," she snaps, trying to stifle her laughter and keep her hand steady.

"Oh, look who's dropping the fancy medical terms," Edward says in a mocking tone and leans in to get a better look at the can.

"There," Leah sighs, raising the can up, and tries to not notice how Edward's breath still smells sweet from the cupcakes. "It's not perfect, but it'll do."

"Great!" He grabs her hand and pulls her out the back door.

The chilled night air hits her like a wall, making her immediately shiver. Edward doesn't seem to notice; he keeps tugging her toward the bubbling hot tub. Steam is rising in swirling plumes turned white by the tea-lamps hanging from the lattice-work shades lining the deck. This area of the deck is secluded, and hidden from the view of the neighbors, giving her a sense of protection.

Leah sets the can on the ledge of the tub and climbs inside. She steps down into the tub and hisses at the feel of the hot water bubbling against her skin, while she takes a seat on the built in ledge. Heat immediately spreads over her skin and begins to soak into her sore body. She sighs and relaxes into the natural incline of the seat.

"Here," Edward says, setting the baggie down on the edge of tub next to her head, and walks over to the grill.

She turns to watch him walk away, admiring how his baggy swim trunks hang of his hips and expose the defined lines of his lower back. Maybe it's the beer or the hot tub, but her early apprehension is gone. Tonight is like any other night with Edward, friendly fun. She should enjoy it for what it is, without trying to root out signs that aren't there.

"I know it's long, but it's the only one I've got," Edward says, setting a long fireplace lighter down beside the bag of pot, and climbs into the tub.

"That's what he said," Leah says without missing a beat, and they both erupt into fits of laughter.

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" Edward shakes his head and leans back into his seat beside her.

"Yes, you did." She continues to chuckle, drying her hands on one of the towels he set out for them, and begins to set up.

Edward scoots in close to watch her with an expression of intense fascination. "So, how does this work exactly?"

"You've never smoked through a soda can before?" Leah asks, surprised.

"Back in my time we used bongs," Edward croaks and pulls his lips over his teeth, mimicking an old man. "We also walked fifty miles, through the snow to score a dime bag."

"Shut up and listen!" Leah chuckles and slaps at his shoulder.

"It's pretty similar to what you're used to." Leah begins lifting the can, so he can see it better. "Light the bud, suck air in through the mouth hole and when you've got enough take away the lighter."

"Sounds straight forward enough. Pass it over," Edward says, reaching out to grab the can, but Leah moves it away and takes a hit first. "Hey!"

She sucks in the spicy smoke, letting it fill her lungs until she feels the itching urge to cough, and stops. Edward quickly takes the can from her hand, giving her a dirty but playful frown, and takes a hit. She exhales watching how the smoke mingles with the steam in a strange spiraling dance. Edward offers her the can back, while he slowly exhales through his nostrils, and she giggles. It reminds her of the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, and for a second she wonders if she's become a lightweight.

They continue to take hits, passing the can back and forth in silence, until Leah decides to try to blow a smoke ring. She leans forward, her mouth held in the shape of an 'o' and tries to blow out the smoke in short puffs. Leah used to do the trick all the time when she still smoked, but the pot smoke isn't thick enough, and she suspects that she just looks like a blow up doll. Her suspicions are confirmed when Edward starts to laugh, while in the middle of taking a hit.

He immediately starts to choke and coughs out smoke, while his eyes bulge. The jerking motion of his coughing causes the little smoldering coal of pot to roll out of the can and drop into the swirling, hot water. Leah immediately starts laughing and subsequently chokes on her own smoke.

After a few more minutes of sputtering coughs and wheezing laughter, they both recover. Leah takes the can and lighter from Edward's hand, setting them back down on the ledge of the tub, while he continues to clear his throat. She watches him, smiling, and leans her head back, enjoying how the water just touches the base of her neck.

"Stop basking in my humiliation," Edward remarks in a gravelly voice and clears his throat again.

"Quit whining. I coughed, too," Leah sighs and splashes him with some water.

"Hey," he complains, turning his head, and splashes her back.

Leah doesn't even bother to turn away, letting the water splatter her face, and smiles at the wondrous sensation. Her skin is tingling, and her head is already feeling light. She'd forgotten how much she loved this feeling, how freeing it was.

"Shit, Mrs. Potter has some good shit," Leah admits with a laugh and closes her eyes, while her whole head vibrates with the sound.

"My god, you're not kidding," Edward groans next to her, and she feels him move closer.

She opens her eyes to see his head settle on her shoulder and smiles at how it doesn't make her heart flutter. It just feels…_nice._ Leah forgot how much she missed this part of their friendship, these quiet moments where they could just be together.

_**Three years ago**_

"_You cut your hair," Edward said with a look of disappointment on his face. His jaw was set hard, like he was mad about something, but Leah was clueless as to what._

"_Yeah, it was Nahuel's idea," Leah replied, touching her hair and wishing she wasn't so self-conscious about it. "He says it makes me look sophisticated."_

"_I agree," Bella commented, reaching out to brush Leah's bangs from her eyes, and gave her a wink. "You look beautiful."_

"_Thanks," Leah said, smiling back at Bella, and felt oddly comforted by her stepsister's compliment. _

_Maybe it was because it was the nicest thing she'd heard from either of them since she'd met up with them. She glanced at Edward who was rubbing the rim of his pint-glass with his thumbnail, a sullen look on his face. He let out a heavy sigh and lifted the glass to his lips, drinking the rest of its contents in one gulp._

"_I'm going to get another beer," he mumbled and left before either of them could say anything._

_Bella and Leah watched his retreating back in silence for a few minutes. Leah couldn't puzzle out where his foul mood was coming from, but it had been nearly a month since they last talked on the phone. Even then he seemed…off. It was weird. It bugged her, but she didn't feel comfortable asking Bella about it._

"_So, be honest with me. How serious are you about Nahuel?" Bella asked out of nowhere, taking Leah by surprise. _

"_I don't know. Pretty serious, I guess," she replied, grabbing her water glass and taking a sip to cover her discomfort with Bella's prying question._

"_Relax. I don't mean to be pushy," Bella apologized, patting her hand, and leaned in close. "I just need to know if you're planning to move back to Brazil with him."_

"_I don't know. I mean he hasn't asked," Leah sputtered a little, her mind reeling with the idea of taking that big of a step with Nahuel. "Why do you want to know?"_

"_A job opportunity has come up in the Seattle office, but Ed is being resistant," Bella explained with a roll of her eyes and took a sip of her wine. "He understands that I want to be close to Dad. I love Seattle, but he doesn't really know anyone out here."_

"_Except me," Leah added with a gulp and looked up to see Edward walking back toward their table. _

"_Yes, but if we knew you weren't going to leave I think he would cave," Bella added quickly and squeezed Leah's hand for emphasis. "You know how much fun you two have together, and it would mean a promotion for me." She paused and then quickly added, "But I understand that your relationship with Nahuel is a priority."_

"_You're still drink lagers right?" Edward stepped up to the table just as Bella finished. He held two beer glasses in his hand and was about to set one down in front of Leah, but she held up her hand. _

"_I don't drink anymore," she said with a grimace, and he stepped back obviously shocked. _

"_Since when?" He spoke in a demanding tone that grated her nerves, but she reminded herself to breath and let it go, just like Nahuel taught her. _

"_Six months," Leah admitted, swallowing around a lump in her throat, though she wasn't sure why it was there. "Nahuel thinks it will help with my temper."_

"_What's wrong with your temper?" Edward's voice rose another octave, and a few of the people at the table behind him turned to look at them with irritated expressions._

"_Edward," Bella scolded,, wrapping her hand around his wrist, and he immediately deflated. _

"_I'm sorry," he sighed heavily and shook his head. "I'm just hungry."_

_Bella accepted his lame excuse with a sympathetic smile, but Leah wasn't fooled. Edward was still glowering at his glasses of beer and refused to look her in the eye. She wondered if he was upset that she had been so busy with Nahuel. They usually talked at least once or twice a week, but lately things had been so hectic. Naheul always seemed to have some event, dinner, or activity planned for them. They were out almost every night, and she was at school all day. It left her with almost no time to even check her personal email._

_She hadn't been a very good friend, but part of that had been her concerted effort to try to just be Edward's friend. After Edward and Bella left on their honeymoon, Leah had vowed she would move on and let go of her feelings for him. Their wedding had almost broken her, and she was determined not to let her ruin her future. _

_She wasn't going to waste away pining for a man she couldn't have. That was too pathetic for words, especially, when she met a perfectly suitable, single guy through school. Nahuel was a professor, he taught Portuguese and South American history. He was a genius, gorgeous, and for some reason he thought she was worth dating. Leah knew she was lucky as hell to find him, and she wasn't going to blow it on some silly crush. _

"_I apologize for my tardiness," Nahuel's smooth accented voice flowed down her spine and made her smile. _

_He was standing behind her, his large hands wrapped around her neck, and placed a kiss on the top of her head. Leah tilted her head up to look at him and beamed with the pride and gratitude she felt every time he was near. _

"_Oh, hello." Bella quickly stood up from her seat to reach out a hand to Nahuel._

"_You must be Isabella," Nahuel pronounced Bella's full name with a flourish afforded by his accent and bent to place a kiss on her knuckles._

"_Just Bella, please," Bella said, her face quickly turning crimson, and gently pulled her hand back, while staring at Leah's boyfriend in a daze. _

"_You must be Edward." Nahuel stepped forward, his hand extended to Edward, and smiled warmly._

"_Yeah," Edward stood up and shook Nahuel's hand with an unreadable expression on his face._

"_It is a pleasure to meet you both," Nahuel said, taking his seat and placing his hand on the back of Leah's neck. _

_The rest of the dinner passed with relative ease. Nahuel easily charmed Bella with stories about his childhood in Brazil and world travels. Once in awhile, when Nahuel wasn't looking, Bella would give Leah a little thumbs up or make a face that showed she thought Leah's boyfriend was a catch. For her part Leah tried to play it off with a humble smile, while inside she cheered that she'd landed such a fantastic boyfriend._

_Her elation would dissipate whenever she looked at Edward, who looked like he was either going to throw up or scream. At one point he actually glared at Leah like she'd insulted him, but neither of them had spoken directly to each other since Nahuel had arrived. _

_Finally, he rose, claiming he need to use the restroom, and Leah quickly excused herself, using the same excuse. She caught up with him just outside the men's room and grabbed his arm, yanking him back to face her._

"_What in the fuck is your problem?" she demanded, pouring all her anger and confusion into her expression._

"_You wanna know what my problem is?" Edward snarled, pulling his arm free of her grip, and began to walk toward her. _

_She quickly backed up until he had her pressed against the wall. He stared into her eyes, his face a mask of fury. His whole body seemed to vibrate with barely contained rage._

"_That is the first time you've said fuck tonight," he hissed, leaning closer, and raised his hand to her face. "You don't have a temper problem. You love to drink, and…"_

_His voice cracked, and his expression shifted to a look of sadness as his fingers combed through her hair. "You cut your hair."_

"_You're mad because of my hair?" Her voice shook slightly; his touch and the emotions in his voice had thrown her completely. _

"_You're not you," he said, shaking his head, and lowered his eyes to look at the hair between his fingers. "He's changing you, and you can't even see it."_

"_Maybe I needed changing to be happy," she argued, hating that he could get her to admit that much out loud. _

_He raised his eyes to meet her gaze, the fury returning to his eyes. "You deserve better."_

_She stared at him for a long silent moment, fighting back the tears and pain that wanted to erupt out of her at his words. He was wrong, and he didn't even understand why. She had a good thing with Nahuel, the best she was going to get, and if it meant biting her tongue once in a while it was worth it._

"_I deserve to be happy," she replied, pushing him hard, and walked back to the table without looking back. _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Two years ago**_

"_Leah!" He slammed his fist against the thin door and yelled a little louder. "Open the door, now!"_

_Edward stopped for a second and pressed his ear to the door. He could make out a low moan, then it was silent again. Finally, he stepped back and kicked the door with all his strength. The frame shattered. The door handle bent, but it swung open._

_He walked into the bathroom and was immediately assaulted with the smell of bile. The toilet was splattered with drops of brown liquid and bits of half digested food. A groan drew his attention to a lump sitting in the bottom of the stand up shower. _

_Leah was lying in a damp heap, her hair plastered to her face, and her eyes were closed. He rushed to her side and grabbed her shoulders, lifting her to a sitting position. She stank of vomit and tequila, but at least she was alive. _

"_Leah, please open your eyes," he begged, wiping her hair from her face, and was rewarded with her pained expression._

"_Edward?" Her eyes seemed to focus, and she turned, her hands covering her face. "Go away."_

"_No," he said, pulling her up to stand, and turned on the shower. "We need to get you cleaned up."_

"_I'm disgusting," she groaned, while he tugged off her waterlogged hoodie and let it drop to the floor of the shower with a heavy thud. _

"_More reason to get you clean," he argued, lifting her head and looking into her bloodshot eyes. "Can you get the rest off on your own?"_

"_Yeah," she said, nodding her head and promptly lost her balance._

"_Shit!" He caught her and helped her stand back up. "I'm going to do this as quickly as I can."_

_Edward kept his eyes on her face while he tugged the bottom of her t-shirt over her head and began to unbutton her jeans. "Can you kick those off?"_

_She nodded, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and removed her jeans. He unfastened her bra and stared at the showerhead, while he removed it and her panties. Her head was resting on his shoulder, and her damp body was pressed against his clothing, quickly soaking through them._

"_I'm sorry," she whimpered against his wet t-shirt and made a choking sound. "I'm such a fucking train wreck."_

"_Hush, you are not," he insisted, grabbing the bottle of shampoo from the shelf and began to lather it into her hair. "Break ups are tough for everyone."_

_The scent of cucumbers and green tea filled the air, masking the stench of vomit and alcohol. He breathed in the pleasant smell and wished he could take her pain away that easily. Leah closed her eyes and tilted her head back under the spray of water. _

"_Can you finish without my help?" He placed her hands on the wall and wiped his hand over her face._

"_Yeah, I think so," she said, as he carefully released her and watched her move slowly but stably to clean herself. _

"_I'm grabbing a towel," he said, heading toward the door. "Yell if you need me."_

"_Okay," she croaked._

_Edward tore up the basement stairs and walked into the kitchen. It was still filled with people, strangers. He pushed past them, unfazed by how rude he might be appear. His only thought was to get a towel for Leah and to get her someplace safe. _

"_Edward where have you been?" Bella appeared in front of him, a glass of champagne in her hand and a towering blond at her side. "I wanted to introduce you to my new supervisor, Jasper."_

"_Sorry, Leah's not feeling well," he explained, glancing up at the smiling man standing next to his wife and smiling politely. "Nice to meet you, Jasper. I would offer to shake your hand, but I'm kind of a mess."_

"_I understand," Jasper said with a good-natured smile and waved his hand dismissively, turning to speak to Bella. "Leah, was she the one that said she was going to drink me under the table?" _

"_Yes," Bella replied, a blush spreading across her cheeks and a look of distress overtaking her face. "Is she okay?" _

"_She's fine," Edward said, glancing at Jasper, and tried to appear at ease. "I was going to set up the guest room for her."_

"_You're so sweet," Bella said as she stepped closer to him but stopped short and looked at his shirt with a horrified expression. _

_Edward looked down to see a streak of vomit down his shirt. "Oh." _

_He couldn't be bothered to care much, but he gave Bella a reassuring smile and shrugged. "Don't worry, Bella. I'll change before I come back to the party."_

"_Thank you," Bella sighed and turned to look up at Jasper. "My husband can never resist helping a lady in distress."_

"_A truly good man never can," Jasper said with a nod and held up his glass of champagne toward Edward. "I commend you and wish a speedy recovery to Leah."_

"_Thanks," Edward said with a nod and stepped around them, heading toward the linen closet._

_He returned with a towel and change of clothes to find Leah still standing in the shower. Her face was pressed to the wall, and her sobs could be heard over the noise of the water. Edward set down the clothes and stepped into the shower to turn off the water. He wrapped the towel around her body, and she immediately turned to cling to him. _

"_Shhh," he whispered into her ear and held her close, while her body shook with sobs._

"_I'm such an idiot," she said, shaking her head. "How can you stand to be around me?"_

"_Stop it," he said, pulling away to look her in the face. "Quit that bullshit right now! You are not an idiot."_

"_I am," she insisted, shaking her head and wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I bought his whole act. I changed my major, bought new clothes. I even cut my fucking hair. I was so sure he was serious, but I was too dumb to see I was just a piece of ass."_

"_Leah, you had no idea he wasn't serious about you," he said, even though he knew from the first time he met Nahuel that the jackass was using her._

_He could see right through that smug son of a bitch. Nahuel was a womanizer. He mesmerized women with his accent and intelligence, but in the end all he wanted was sex. Leah was one of many female students that he led on with gifts, attention, and false promises. Edward knew what Nahuel was, because he used to be him. That was a long time ago, before Bella…before Leah. _

"_You even tried to warn me," she groaned, covering her face with her hands, and leaned her head against his shoulder. _

"_Come on," he said, stroking her hair and hugging her close. "Stop torturing yourself. Let's get you into some clean, dry clothes and get you to bed. Okay?"_

_She nodded, and he released her, handing her the clothes. He waited outside the bathroom while she dressed and wished he had it in him to fly to Brazil and beat the shit out of Nahuel. _

_He had Leah under his spell for two years before the cracks started to show. By the time Leah found out about the other women, Nahuel had already hopped a plane back Brazil, leaving her humiliated and alone. She didn't tell anyone what happened for two months, until Sue dropped in for a surprise visit and got Leah to tell her the whole story. _

_As soon as Edward found out he called Leah, and she immediately broke down. The sound of her pain was the last straw. Even as he reassured her she would be okay, he had texted Bella to tell her that he was willing to move to Seattle. Leah needed family and friends at her side. She'd been there for him so many times; helping her through that break up was the least he could._

_After two months, it seemed things had gotten better, but the holidays had taken their toll. He didn't want to strain her anymore, but Bella insisted that Leah shouldn't be alone on New Years. Leah showed up and had begun to drink heavily almost immediately. The rest of the night had gone down hill quickly._

_Leah appeared in the doorway, wearing a baggy pair of his sweatpants and one of his old UIC sweatshirts. She looked pathetic but kind of adorable at the same time. He put his arm around her shoulder and guided her up the stairs. She clung to him while they navigated through the crowd of partygoers, all of whom were Bella's co-workers there to ring in the New Year and Bella's transfer to the Seattle office. _

_Edward hated having all those strangers in his house, but he dealt with it because it made Bella happy. As they passed the living room on the way to the stairs he spotted Bella talking to Jasper by the fireplace. She was smiling and looked happy. He told himself that his discomfort was worth seeing her like that, but part of him was having a hard time believing it. He told that part of himself to shut up and helped Leah up the stairs. _

_Once they were in the guest room he kicked the door shut and pulled her over to the bed. She crawled under the covers without protest, but when he tried to walk away she grabbed his arm._

"_Thank you," she said, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. "I know I'm a pathetic pain in the ass."_

"_Leah," Edward sighed heavily, gently tugging her hand off his arm, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "You are not pathetic. In fact, you're one of the most amazing people I know."_

_Leah made a snorting sound of protest and lay back on her pillow with a grunt. He smiled, charmed by her dismissal of his compliment. It was the first real sign of the Leah that he'd seen in years. The sight of it tugged at something in his chest that had been strung tight since they had fought that night in the restaurant. _

"_Can I ask you a favor?" She was facing away from him, but he could see she was biting her lip. _

"_Of course," he said, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder, and she turned to look at him with a strange expression on her face._

"_Stay with me until I fall asleep." Her voice was barely a whisper, but he could still hear the edge of pain in her tone. _

_He smiled and nodded, pushing her over to make room for him. She sighed but didn't look at him. He settled into the bed behind her and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her back into his body. Her hands clung to his arm, but neither one of them spoke. _

_Edward stayed with her, listening to her breathing and enjoy the feel of holding her far more than he should. When midnight came the house erupted in a roar of cheers below them, and Edward softly kissed Leah's temple to ring in the New Year, before finally leaving the room. _

**Present**

Edward's eyes are barely open, but he can still see the smile on Leah's lips. The sight makes his heart soar. There is something special about her smile, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't do it that often. Her lips pull up at the corners, her cheeks become rounder, and her eyes widen a little. The entire effect softens her features and never fails to make him want to smile in response.

"You're beautiful." The words slip out before he can stop them, not that he had much will to stifle the truth.

Not when his mind is a hazy spiral of swirling thoughts, most of which feature Leah's smile and dark eyes.

"Stop it." She rolls her eyes, like he's made some joke, and turns away from him.

He straightens, stung by her off-handed dismissal. "I'm being serious. You _are_ beautiful, inside and out, and you need to hear it more often. I know that there have been assholes like Nahuel that put it in your head that you weren't worth more, but you are, Leah. I wish I could show you how much you're worth, how amazing you are, and make you believe it."

"You have to say that crap, because you're my brother in law," she whispers, her voice sounding strained.

"No," he says, shaking his head, and takes a deep breath. "I shouldn't say it, _because_ I'm your brother in law."

He reaches out to grab her chin, urging her to look at him. She turns her head, and her nose brushes against his. Her breath hitches, and she jerks back a few inches. She stares at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. He feels it too, but for the first time he isn't afraid of it.

The hairs on his arms stand on end, and he can feel the small space separating them like it's an electrified fence. He wants to push past the resistance, close the distance, and…

Leah is suddenly on him, her soft lips pressed against his, while her arms wind around his neck. He responds immediately, his hands dipping into the water to grasp her thighs and moving her to straddle his lap. His mouth opens, and his tongues slides out to tease her lips. She moans in response, her hot breath tasting sweet and spicy, and making him groan back.

Her mouth opens to him, and his tongue strokes the inside of her mouth. It is indescribable – not just the kissing, but the feeling of her in his arms. Leah is passionate; each movement feels like a demand, and he is happy to meet each one with his own. She sucks on his tongue; her hips shift against him, while her fingers tangle and tug on his hair.

He slides his hands up her thighs and wraps them around her ass, teasing the edge of the bikini bottoms with his fingertips. She pulls back from him, gasping for air, and shifts herself in his lap, her body pressing against his obvious erection and making them both groan.

His mind taunts him with the knowledge that there are only two very thin, very wet pieces of fabric separating them. He can see himself pulling down his shorts and yanking her bikini bottoms out of the way. His body jerks a little at the thought of being inside her, and he closes his eyes.

Leah's mouth returns, her teeth nipping at his bottom lip, while her hands stroke down his chest. Her nails scrape a stinging trail across his skin that ends at the waistband of his shorts. He gasps, and her mouth covers the rest of the sound.

Leah tugs at the laces at the front of his shorts, and her fingers sneak beneath the waistband. His fingers trace the seam on her bikini bottoms under along the slope of her ass and between her legs. He can feel her fingers brush the skin below his bellybutton, and his fingers pull back the edge of her bottoms to slide inside.

"Shit!" Leah suddenly jerks backward into the water and disappears beneath the surface for a second.

He stands up, confused and a little off balance, when he hears it, too.

"Hey, guys, I brought champagne!" Bella yells from inside the house, and Edward turns toward the back door just as she walks out on to the deck. "There you are."

Bella is still in her suit with a bottle of champagne in her hand. The light makes her eyes and smile glimmer in the dark. She's happy and giggly, probably a little drunk.

"Come on, you two, out of the hot tub." She waves her hand and turns back toward the door. "I need help opening this thing."

Edward suddenly feels sober and a little ill. He can't bring himself to speak, while he reties the laces at the front of his shorts. Leah wades past him, her face hidden from his view, and climbs out of the tub. He watches her wrap a towel around herself and wishes…

"Leah," he calls out, unsure what else to say, but she doesn't respond.

She disappears inside the house, leaving him alone in the still bubbling water with a rapidly deflating erection. He feels like an idiot, a selfish, horrible, fucking fool. It settles into his belly like a cold lump and makes every step he takes toward the house feel like a mile.

When he opens the door he can already hear Bella and Leah talking. There's nothing unusual about their tone, but he can still feel the tension in the air. He closes the door and looks at them.

"Are you sure you won't have one little glass?" Bella is holding on to Leah's hand and making an exaggerated pouting expression. "Please, for me."

Leah's eyes dart from Bella's face and fix on Edward's for a split second before she shakes her head. "I really should be getting home."

Panic shoots through him at the thought of her leaving. He can't stand the idea of her walking way like this, after what happened. Edward wants to talk to her, to sort things out, but mostly he needs to have her close.

"Come on, Leah. It's just one glass," he says, feeling like a selfish asshole, but he can't help it.

Leah glares at him but finally relents. "Fine."

Bella does a little dance and promptly loses her balance. Edward is at her side, his arms entwined with Leah's as they wrap around Bella's waist. Leah quickly pulls away, leaving him holding his giggling wife, and takes the bottle from her hand.

Leah opens the champagne and pours them each a glass, while Bella chatters about her promotion. He doesn't touch his glass, but Leah quickly drinks her way through two very full glasses and looks miserable. It's torture to watch her struggle in silence and not be able to comfort her, especially when he knows that he is the cause of the pain.

"I'm happy for you, Bells," Leah finally interrupts and gives her a hug. "I'm sorry. It's been a long day, and I'm exhausted."

"Thank you, Lee," Bella says, holding on to Leah and looks at her for a long moment. "I'm so glad I got to share it with you."

Leah gives her stepsister a weak smile and gently pulls free of Bella's arms. "Sure. No problem."

"Wait," Edward blurts out, stepping forward, and puts his arm on Bella's shoulders. "It's too late to walk home. How about you just crash in the guest bedroom."

"He's right," Bella quickly adds with a nod. "Stay, and I'll make pancakes in the morning."

Leah stares at both of them for a long moment. Finally, she closes her eyes and sighs. "Okay."

Edward wants to cheer, but the look of defeat and sadness in Leah's eyes stifles his triumph. He hates himself a little as he watches her disappear up the stairs and hopes he gets a chance to talk to her later. Though he is unsure if there is any way to fix what he has done.

"Now, that we're alone I have some serious stuff to talk about," Bella turns in his arms and crosses her arms over her chest.

His stomach sinks, and he takes a step back, guilt flooding him immediately. "What do you mean?"

"Well, first off I need you to put in notice at the hospital, and we need to put the house on the market," Bella says with a shrug and gives him playful wink. "The new position is in the home office in Houston. Surprise!"

"What?" Edward takes a step back, unable to control the anger in his voice.

"It's the headquarters of the company, Edward," Bella sighs and shakes her head. "Where did you think an Assistant Vice President of Sales is going to be? Not in a regional office, that's for sure."

"I expected a little more notice about us moving to a different state," he snaps and covers his face with his hands.

"This _is_ your notice. We have a month to get our affairs in order before we move," she says, refilling her glass and leaning back against the counter. "I had to fight for that much time. Jasper wanted me to report there immediately."

"Oh, I'm sorry for inconveniencing Jasper," he grumbles, folding his arms over his chest, and fights back the urge to tell her where Jasper can stick her new promotion.

"Don't be like that," Bella sighs, setting down her glass and smoothing her hands over his arms. "This a big deal for me, Edward. I wish you could see that."

"And I wish you could see how much this disrupts _my_ career," he counters, dropping his arms, and steps back from her.

"When we left Chicago you said you could practice medicine anywhere," she argues, her face tightening with anger.

"That was different," he says, waving his hand and wishing he had waited to talk about this with her at another time.

"No, it's not," she insisted, turning to place her hands on the countertop, and closes her eyes. "I need your support in this, Edward. Please."

"If I asked you to quit your job to stay here with me because I need you, would you do it?" He watches her face. His question makes her flinch, but she doesn't speak immediately.

After a long moment she opens her eyes and turns to look at him. "Would you be against moving to Houston if Leah lived there?"

He was frozen, shock and fear surging through ever nerve in his body, but he couldn't speak or even move. Bella held his gaze for a long moment, before turning to leave kitchen. He watches her disappear up the stairs and doesn't allow himself to breathe until he hears their bedroom door slam shut.


	7. Chapter 7

Leah waits for a full hour, listening to silence settle over the entire house, before she packs up her stuff and quietly creeps out of the guest room. She makes it down to the bottom of the stairs,and across the foyer before she notices that the kitchen light is still on. The faint hint of cigarette smoke in the air immediately makes her tense. Bella doesn't smoke, never has, which means it's Edward.

It has been five years since Edward has smoked. The night before the wedding was intense; he was half drunk and chain smoking like a fiend. He was an emotional, stressed our wreck. For a while Leah wasn't sure if he was going to go through with the wedding at all, but she calmed him down, like she always does. Even when doing it kills her.

Tonight is no different. She sets down her bag and walks into the kitchen. The room is empty, but the back door is wide open. She follows the smell of smoke out the door and walks through the shadows of the deck to find Edward seated in a lawn chair. There is a smoldering butt dangling between his fingers. She takes it from his hand, drops it to the ground, and puts it out beneath her shoe.

"Edward," she whispers his name, taking a seat beside him and nudging his other hand that is clutching a half empty bottle of vodka.

He is still in his damp shorts; his skin is like ice, and his eyes are closed. Panic surges through her, fear that he might be dead. She puts her fingers to his neck, trying to find his pulse, and gets a gurgling groan in response.

She sighs in relief and gently pats the side of his face. "Wake up."

"Stop," he grumbles, pushing her hand away, and opens his eyes.

"What in the fuck are you doing out here?" Leah tries to grab the bottle, but he pulls it out of reach, and sits up.

"What are you doing?" He puts the bottle to his lips, takes a sip, and grimaces. "Sneaking out in the middle of the night doesn't seem like your style."

"Self inflicted hypothermia doesn't seem like your style, either," she snaps, yanking the bottle out of his hand, and grabs his arm. "Get up!"

"No!" He pulls his arm free and leans back. "I'm fine out here."

"No you're not," she sighs and puts her hands on her hips. "Stop fucking around and get up."

"Aren't you tired of taking care of me?" He looks up at her, the moonlight making the tears in his eyes glisten an eerie shade of silver.

Leah stares at him, unsure what to say. She doesn't like the dark, surly expression on his face. It makes her wonder just how drunk he is and how he is feeling about what they did earlier.

"What? No snappy come back?" He smiles, but there is nothing but bitterness in the gesture. "Do what's best for you, for once and leave."

She slowly holds out the bottle to him, tears stinging her eyes, and tries to fight back the sob that's clawing at the back of her throat. He snatches the bottle from her hand and takes another drink. A few tears fall down his cheeks, while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Despite his harsh words, Edward is in pain. She can see it clearly, even through her own tears.

"Don't be like this," she whispers, the pain in her chest making it hard to do anything but speak.

"How should I be?" He is suddenly standing, teetering on unsteady legs, but he still advances toward her and continues to speak in an angry tone. "You need to stop wasting your time on me, Leah. I'm not worth it. I've never been worth…any of it."

He sways at a dangerous angle, and she lunges forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Edward's weight is suddenly on her, and she tumbles backward, crashing into the house. Leah lets out a groan of pain and pushes him upright.

"See? Fuck!" Edward's freezing cold hands are her face, and his eyes suddenly fixed on her. "Are you okay?"

The anger is gone and is replaced with concern. His wrinkled forehead and wide eyes make him look like a boy and a hundred year old man at the same time. She smiles, takes hold of his wrist, and lowers his hands.

"I'm fine, but you need to go inside," she says, fixing him with a determined look, and nods toward the door. "I promise I'll go once you go inside the house."

He sighs heavily but nods. She throws his arm over her shoulders and leads him back into the house. They navigate the stairs successfully only to be met with a locked door when they arrive at Edward and Bella's bedroom.

"We had a fight," Edward offers with a weak shrug.

Leah sighs and steers them into the guest room. Edward collapses onto the bed. She knows it would be better if she left now. They could forget what happened in the hot tub, but she can't take her eyes off his still damp swimming trunks. He shouldn't keep them on, and she knows he will if she doesn't do something about it.

"You should change out of those," she says, walking over to the dresser. "Do you have any spare clothes in here?"

"No," Edward answers from the bed.

Leah turns back to ask if he might have something down in the laundry room and finds Edward pulling off the shorts. She immediately lowers her eyes, while he climbs into the bed. The urge to leave is warring with the desire to stay, and she feels like she's being torn apart.

"I should go," she whispers, walking toward the door.

"Wait," his voice is quiet, but she still hears him; she'd hear him if she were deaf.

She turns to look at him, lying under the heavy comforter, wonders if they're still warm from her own body heat. Her mind is replaying how it felt to kiss him, how his hands slid over her skin, and how hard his dick felt pressed against her body. Leah closes her eyes, wishing away the images, but they only grow clearer.

"What do you need?" It's an innocent question, asked without thought, but the second it leaves her mouth she knows it is the wrong question to ask.

"I want you to stay," he whispers, and she opens her eyes to look at the earnest look on his face. "Please."

It's the 'please' that twists in her chest, that makes her close the bedroom door, and take off her jacket. She kicks off her shoes, but keeps her clothes on as she slides under the covers. He moves toward her, wrapping his body around her, and presses his face to her neck. She throws her arms around him, cradling his cold form, and gently rubs her hands over his back to try to warm him up. Leah tries to focus on keeping a distance between them, while still helping him stop shivering.

"I'm sorry," Edward chatters into her ear and shifts back.

"Will you stop it," she grumbles, moving closer and pulling him into her embrace. "You need to stop apologizing and put that shit out of your mind."

He sighs, leaning his head on the pillow next to her, and looks into her eyes. "It shouldn't have happened."

"I know," she sighs, brushing his messy hair out his eyes, and gives him a weak smile. "You were lonely,and high. I shouldn't have let it go that far, but it's in the past. Lets just forget it."

He laughs softly, rolling on his back, and shakes his head. "You think it's because I'm lonely? God, and I thought I was the blind one."

His laughter makes her angry, but she is too confused by his words to do anything but stare at him. He turns back to look at her,and stops laughing immediately. His expression becomes serious as he touches her face.

"Leah," Edward sighs and brushes his thumb over her bottom lip. "If I was just _lonely_ don't you think I would have picked a little less complicated situation?"

"I don't-" she sputters, blinking, and tries to shake her head.

He stops her and presses his thumb against her lips. "I want you. I always have, even though I know I shouldn't."

Something inside her chest bursts to life with painful, burning glory and explodes out of her mouth in a wracking sob. The tears pour from her eyes, and she's suddenly in his arms, shaking with the weight of it all. It leaves her trembling and dazed.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers against her temple,and brushes his lips against her skin. "I wish I could take it all back, and give you back all the time you've wasted on me."

"You're sorry?" She leans up, rage surges through her, like a wild, furious beast.

She slaps him hard across the face. He looks shocked but doesn't move other than to put his hand to his bruised cheek. Leah's never struck anyone in her life, with the exception of a bully in grade school. Right now she is burning with fury, to have her perfect fantasy shattered with the reality that he has felt the same the whole time.

"After everything, all these years…" She stutters and stops; it is too much for her to process.

"Leah, please," his pleads his voice hoarse, and sits up to grab her shoulders. "I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did! You still do," she says, all the fight leaving her with a shuddering sob.

She lowers her head and wishes with every part of her body that she could hate him for saying it, but the fury inside of her is already dissipating to grief. The weight of it all slams into her, sending her crashing back to the mattress. If she had any dignity left she would leave, walk out of this house, and never look back, but she knows she can't do it.

"I want to make it right," he says, lying down beside her and touching her, making it hurt more.

"If you really meant that you wouldn't have asked me to stay," she counters, looking into his eyes, and sees him flinch at the truth.

"I know." Edward grimaces and slides his hand around the back of her neck. "I already told you – I'm too selfish to let you go."

He pulls her closer, and kisses her softly. This kiss is different from the hot tub, different from how she ever imagined it could be with Edward. He takes his time, brushing her lips with his mouth, tasting her with his tongue, and grazing her with the edge of his teeth. Every move feels tailor made to turn her on, and this is only his mouth. His hands are doing other things that are making her eyes cross and driving moans out of her mouth.

His fingers dance over her skin, feeling every vertebra in her neck and skimming the collar of her shirt to brush the tops of her breasts. Then they skim down her chest and slide under the edge of her shirt to trace over her stomach and draw invisible lines on her hip. She is stunned at how coordinated he is for being drunk, because her mind is stuck in gear and she is stone cold sober.

She grips the smooth skin of his shoulders, and pulls him closer, weaving their legs together. Her hips shift against him, and his thigh slides up higher to create a teasing pressure between her legs. Leah moans at the pleasure that shoots through her, and he answers with a moan of his own. His hands move under her shirt and cup her breast through the thin fabric of her bra. The feel of his hands so close to her sensitive skin drives another moan from her, and he growls, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip.

His hands move up to pull back her bra, his fingers wrap around her hard nipple. She gasps and shifts her hips. Electric shocks of pleasure shoot through her with every movement, making her quicken her pace with greedy delight.

"You like that?" he breathes against her mouth and gently tugs on her nipple, eliciting a strangled gasp. "Tell me what you like. I want to make you feel good."

"That, more of that," she sputters and is rewarded with a twist that makes her see stars.

"Are they sensitive?" Edward watches her face, while he continues to play a symphony of pleasure with one of the most sensitive parts of her body.

"Yes," she hisses,and writhes, her nails digging into his skin.

He shifts lower, pushing her shirt up and exposing her breast to the chilly air in the room. Her pleasure his tinged with pain, her whole body drumming with aching want. She is so on edge, so intensely aroused she wonders if he could make her come from just touching her breasts.

Edward's eyes sparkle in the dim light, his smile making her feel feverish and shameless with need. His expression transforms to something darker, hungrier, and he lowers his mouth over her breast. Leah arches up off the bed, her cry of delight covered by her own hands, but there's no hiding it from Edward. His eyes are still focused on her face, while his tongue twists and swirls over her nipple. He uses his body to press her back down into the mattress, holding her hips in a tight grip, and slowly makes love to her breasts with his mouth and tongue. Shifting his attention between them with equal amounts of intensity and care, he seems to find new, mind blowing ways to stimulate them, while keeping her from the edge.

It's so amazing and frustrating, and at one point she has to bite her own hand to keep from screaming. When she is sure she can't stand it he sits back on his heels and stares down at her with a grin. His mouth glistening, like she knows her breasts are, and the thought turns her on even more. She rises up, wraps her arms around his neck, and pulls him back down onto of her. Her legs hook around his hips, and she moves against him, sending a clear message of what she wants next.

He groans, pulling away, and pushes her back into the mattress. His eyes are clear, though his expression is pained. Leah worries that he has come to his senses and is all going to come to a crashing end.

"This is about you," he whispers, leaning down to kiss her softly, and begins to move down her body.

He makes short work of her pants and tosses them to the floor. Her panties follow, leaving her naked and open to his eyes. The feeling is overwhelming, and she can't face it. She looks at the ceiling and presses her knees together.

"Don't," he says with such tenderness she has to look at him. "You're beautiful. Every part of you is beautiful."

He gently pries her knees apart and settles himself between her legs, leaning his weight on his arms. She can feel his breath on her, making her feel even more exposed and so wet. He smiles up at her then lowers his eyes to look at her there, and his smile grows wider.

"Beautiful," he whispers and lowers his mouth.

Leah stifles a moan, grabbing the pillow next to her head, and covers her face. His tongue is dancing over her sensitive skin with the same languid motions he used while kissing her mouth and breasts, but it was ten times more intense and intimate. He swirls, strokes, and thrusts inside her body, making her hips rise up to meet him. Her legs begin to shake so hard Edward has to take hold of them hard to keep them from hitting his head.

The pleasure is overwhelming and fast building. Her body is trembling, twitching, and aching for release, but she doesn't want it to stop. She wants to feel his mouth on her like this forever.

Edward pulls her closer, shifting her hips up, and spreads her legs wider. His fingers slide inside her, and his mouth returns to suck at her clit. Her breath hitches; her body tenses and suddenly explodes. She rides the wave, Edward continuing to work her body and moaning against her clit.

"Enough," she pleads in a whisper, sitting up to pull him into kiss and tasting herself on his lips.

He pulls her down to lie beside him and continues to pepper her face with kisses. She tries to get her breathing under control and settles into his arms. Her heart is still thundering in her ear.

"That was amazing," he whispers, kissing her temple, and pulls her closer to his body.

"Yes," she sighs, pressing her face against his chest, and lets out a long slow breath.

The feel of his skin, finally warm, and soft against her cheek, is comforting. Her mind is nagging her to ask questions, to demand to know what this means, but she ignores it. She deciding instead to enjoy the moment and not question how it will affect their future.


	8. Chapter 8

Sunlight pours into the room, painting a golden line of light across Leah's naked body and making it even harder to leave. He can still taste her on his lips and feel her heat against his skin, even though he's on the other side of the room. It feels like what they did last night has made her a part of him, but he knows that's not true. She has always been a part of him.

Edward sighs and walks over to stand beside the bed, drinking in the sight of her unconscious body. He brushes his fingers along her hip, delighting in the heat that seeps into his fingertips and quickly closes his hand into a fist. There is no time for indulging himself; he's going to be late as it is, but he couldn't resist touching her one last time.

He grabs the comforter and covers her, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her head. She shifts in her sleep, turning her face into the pillow. A muffled grumble escapes her mouth, but she quickly stills and he is sure she is still asleep. It's better this way, he thinks, while straightening his tie. She needs her rest and some time away from him.

He walks over to the door but pauses for a second to give her one last glance. His phone chirps in his hand, telling him that he is officially late. Leah shifts again, her head turning toward him as if to remind him to leave, and he smiles despite the pain he feels over having to go. He closes the door softly and walks down the hallway.

As he passes his bedroom door his steps falter, and he comes to a stop. He raises his hand, his knuckles inches from the smooth wood, but he can't bring himself to knock. His leans forward, pressing his forehead to the surface of the door and wishes he could summon the anger he felt the night before to help fight back the guilt.

It's a pathetic, selfish wish. Shame overwhelms him for a moment, threatening to make him breakdown, but his phone chirps again. He steps back from the door, takes a deep breath, and heads down the stairs.

He steps out into the crisp November morning. His breath slips from his mouth in ghostly puffs that quickly disappear even as they appear. Edward thinks about how the air is still there, even if he can't see it, like sin stains a soul. He grimaces to himself and climbs into his car.

As he pulls away from the house the guilt breaks free and floods him, drowning him from the inside. He tries to breathe through the waves of disgust and shame, but his mind is stuck in a loop of self-accusation.

He reaches the church parking lot in a matter of minutes and pulls into an isolated spot. His heart rate is elevated, and he can feel the sweat soaking through his shirt, the stench of it stinging his nose. He shuts off the engine as the effects of a mild panic attack start to grip him. The nausea rolls through him and forces him to lean his head against the steering wheel.

Edward tries to breathe slowly and focus his mind on calm, soothing images. As his eyes close the only images that come to mind are of the night before, of Leah and their night together.

_**Last night**_

"_I can hear your heart beat," Leah whispered, her breath tickling his skin and making him laugh breathily. _

"_Thank god," he said melodramatically and couldn't help but smile. "I was worried that you killed me with how incredibly beautiful you are when you come."_

"_Jesus, I cannot believe some of the things that come out of your mouth," she laughed and playfully slapped his chest, but her eyes were glittering with humor and mischief. _

"_Yet, you seemed to enjoy the things I can do with my mouth," he pointed out with a smirk._

_Her__response__was__to__lean__forward__and__gently__bite__the__skin__right__next__to__his__nipple.__He__groaned__in__protest,__and__she__quickly__licked__the__bite__in__apology.__The__aching__tug__of__desire__coiled__like__a__serpent__in__his__groin,__and__he__gave__into__its__demand__to__press__against__her._

_He rolled her onto her back, shifted between her legs, and pinned her hands to the mattress on either side of her head. Leah gasped, her face a mask of surprise and glee. She smiled up at him, her body pressing up into him, and he allowed himself to revel in the moment. He didn't want to think about what happened before they got here, or what would happen after. All he knew or cared about was how soft and wet she felt against the head of his dick. How she moaned his name and the way it ricocheted through his body, making him dizzy with hunger._

_Her legs wrapped around his hips, her body opened for him, and he happily took the invitation. Those first few moments, when he was barely inside her were unlike anything he had ever felt – the newness of it, the wonder in her eyes and the shocking heat of her body. He loved ever part, every second of their first time together, and wished he could stretch the moment out forever. _

_She shifted against him, causing him to sink deeper and faster than he planned. He groaned, and she cried into the skin of his shoulder. Her teeth scrapped his skin, and the stinging intensified the sensation of being inside her. The pain and pleasure mixed into a familiar burn that resembled the desire he had always felt for her. _

"_You feel amazing," he breathed the confession into her hair, and she turned to cover his mouth in a kiss. _

_He shifted his hands to her face, holding her in place, and deepened the kiss. His tongue stroked the inside of her mouth, while he sank into her. She gasped, her breath flowing into him, and he gladly took it in, wishing he could have more of her. He wanted every part he could get; he was greedy for it and wished for the time to enjoy it all. To be drunk on her, to be with her, and to finally love her in the way she deserved. The way he has always yearned to love her but knew he never could._

_He pushed away that last thought from his mind, reminding himself that nothing existed outside of that moment. Leah moved against him, their bodies finding a rhythm that felt so right it made him whisper 'yes' against her neck. Her strength pushed him, making him work harder to drive them both toward ecstasy. _

_Leah didn't want gentle touches. She demanded raw passion with every movement of her body. She drew her nails across his back, marked his skin with her teeth, and nearly drove him insane with the way she moaned his name. He was in very real danger of tumbling over the edge before he could drive her there first._

_Edward refused to disappoint her and rose to the challenge. He shifted his hips and changed his angle until she was shaking in his arms. Her breathing came fast, and her face flushed a dark scarlet while beads of sweat dotted her hairline. He kissed them away, savoring the salty taste and the sight of her overwhelmed with the pleasure he was giving her. She couldn't seem to catch her breath, but she didn't stop looking at him. _

_Her gaze was like a steel cord, connecting them in that beautiful, private moment. Leah's eyes looked into his, seeing him in a way that no one ever could. Naked in his greedy and pathetic need for her, he let her see his weakness, and despite it all Leah didn't look away. Her eyes reflected nothing, but love and acceptance. That was what finally tripped him up and sent him tumbling headlong into his climax. He choked out her name, while his body shuddered, and his hips jerked._

_Edward continued to move, while she kissed his face and told him to not cry. It was fantastic, amazing, and humiliating. He had never cried during sex before. He was overwhelmed with emotions and the realization of what they had done. Guilt and shame tainted his euphoria, sending him crashing back to reality._

_Leah pulled him down to the bed and laid his head against her shoulder. She told him to close his eyes; they would figure it all out in the morning. He pulled her hand from his hair and kissed her knuckles, wishing he had the courage to tell her how he felt. Those three words were trapped in his throat, threatening to choke him to death. It was all wrong. _

_Wrong place, wrong time, but that's all they'd ever had. Patience was never his strong suit, and Leah could never tell him no. Deep down he had always known how she felt about him, but he turned a blind eye to it. Until now, when his own pain and cowardice made him stupid and selfish. _

_Leah was right; he had no intention of making things better. All he had done was make it worse. It was a horrible, ugly truth to face. At a moment when they should have been happy and basking in love, they clung to each other while Edward cried. _

"_I'm sorry," he whispered against her collar bone._

"_I know," she sighed and told him to close his eyes._

**Present**

"What do you want me to tell you, Edward?" Carlisle is wearing a tired expression that Edward is sure has to do with the sordid tale he has just related to his pastor.

"I'm asking for help," Edward says, dragging his fingers through his hair, and starts to loosen his tie.

"That is precisely what I've been trying to do for the last six months," Carlisle says, leaning back into his arm chair, and covers his mouth with his hand.

"I know, but now I'm willing to listen," Edward jokes, but his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"I'm glad you can joke at this moment," Carlisle scolds with a stern expression. "You are married, and Leah is your sister in law. Even if she wasn't, what you've done has the potential to be extremely damaging to everyone involved."

"Don't you think I know that?" Edward argues, but his sudden flash of anger dies away in the face of Carlisle's unsympathetic expression. "The damage is done, now I need to know how to fix it."

"In all honesty, I'm not sure there is a way to _fix__it_," Carlisle sighs, threading his fingers together, and sets them on his lap. "We can, however, figure out what your next step should be."

Edward sighs, despite the painful lump in his throat, and tries to keep his breathing steady. He didn't want to have another panic attack. The medication that he'd avoided taking for the last few months was steadying his nerves, but only just enough to keep him from breaking down. Carlisle didn't normally condone medication, but since he had to practically carry Edward from his car into his office, he made an exception, saying _"__God__isn__'__t__going__to__deny__a__drowning__man__a__life__saver__so__longs__as__he__learns__to__let__it__go__once__he__'__s__on__dry__land.__" _

Edward loves his pastor's simple, straightforward approach. It was one of the reasons Edward started to seek out his advice, and eventually started seeing him on a regular basis. Carlisle was a clinical psychologist, marriage counselor, and the church pastor. Edward feels lucky he has someone to talk to today, when it feels like his entire world is crashing down around him.

"Do you love Bella?" Carlisle's question catches Edward off guard, but he answers immediately.

"Yes, of course," Edward says without hesitating, then stops to think when he sees the look on Carlisle's face. "I know my actions don't show it, but I do. Things have been so difficult lately, with her being gone all the time, and now this whole thing about moving to Houston…we haven't been like we used to be. It doesn't feel like we're in love anymore. Does that make any sense?"

"I didn't ask if you were _in__love_ with Bella. I asked if you love her," Carlisle clarifies with a shake of his head.

"Is there a difference?" Edward shakes his head, confused and a little frustrated.

"Yes," Carlisle sighs, leaning forward in his chair a little to give Edward a serious look. "Love isn't a thing; it is an action. If you love your wife, you have to be honest with her and try to work through the issues in your marriage."

"What about Leah?" Edward asks, feeling anxious and guilty. "I...I love her too."

"Edward," Carlisle sighs heavily and cracks his neck to the side. "If you want to be fair to _both_ of the women you love, you need to address the issues in your marriage first."

"So, you're telling me to stay with Bella and cut ties with Leah?" A cold, heavy sensation settles in the pit of Edward's stomach at the thought.

"I'm not _telling_ you to do anything. I'm advising you to clean up one mess before making another one," Carlisle says and stands up from his chair. "Now, I'm sorry, but I've got another appointment in a few minutes. You know you can call me if you have any more questions."

"Okay, thanks," Edward mumbles, rising from his chair, and heads towards the door.

"Edward," Carlisle calls after him, and he turns back to see a warm smile on his pastors face. "You're a good man, but even good men make mistakes. The important part is to stop making them. Keep it in your pants until you either get a divorce or decide to commit to being faithful to your wife, okay?"

His words are like a punch in the gut, but Edward accepts them with a nod and leaves the church in a daze. He walks through the parking lot, passing his car and doesn't bother to stop. The sunlight has warmed the air slightly, but he can still feel the cold nipping at his ears and nose. He breathes in the crisp air and keeps moving his feet.

When he finally stops he is standing in front of Leah's apartment building. He shoves his hand in his jacket pocket, running his fingers over his key chain, and finds the spare key she gave him years ago. It was a gesture of trust and love that deserves a similar kindness.


	9. Chapter 9

"Leah!" Bella yells through the door and pounds on the wood like a battering ram.

"I'm up!" Leah bolts upright and immediately covers herself with the comforter, blinking at the sunlight filling the room.

"Come on, lazy bones." Bella continues to talk through the door, while Leah hurriedly scans the room for signs of Edward and realizes she's alone. "I'm making your favorite. Blueberry pancakes."

The sound of Bella singing through the door, combined with the fact that Leah is naked and still damp from her stepsister's husband is making it hard to breathe. Leah scrambles to find her clothes and dresses quickly. She checks herself in the mirror above the vanity and spots a small bite mark on her collarbone. The sight of the bruised skin sends a shiver through her, and her stomach immediately twists. Leah quickly finds her jacket and zips it up all the way to cover the bite mark.

After a few more minutes she works up enough courage to leave the guest room, stained bed sheets wadded up in her arms, and she rushes down stairs. She makes it to the basement door before Bella stops her. Leah stands rigid with the sheets in her arms, the smell of sex and Edward clogging up her nose.

"You don't have to do that," Bella sighs, holding out a piece of bacon for Leah to eat.

"I don't mind," Leah says, snatching the bacon with her teeth, and heads down to the basement.

Leah crams the sheets into the washer, pours in what is sure to be too much soap, and starts the wash cycle. She's sweating, nauseous, and so not ready to face Bella again. She breathes some more, checks her cell phone for messages, but finds none. _Where the fuck is Edward?_ she wonders, finally forcing herself to walk back up the stairs.

"Sit down and eat before it gets cold," Bella insists, waving toward the table and taking her own seat.

"It looks delicious." Leah forces out the half-hearted compliment and begins to shovel food into her mouth mechanically.

Bella carefully cuts up her food and dips each piece into syrup before putting it into her mouth. Leah watches in fascination and wonders if she should feel different. Her fantasy has been fulfilled, but all she feels is tired, achy and kind of horrible.

"Did you two have fun last night?" Bella asks, stabbing a piece of bacon with her fork and smiles at Leah.

"What?" Leah coughs a little, and quickly takes a drink of her orange juice.

"Don't play innocent with me," Bella smirks, rolling her eyes. "I found the pot when I put the cover on the hot tub this morning. You two are like a couple of teenagers when you get together."

"Oh, that," Leah laughs out of relief and gives Bella a genuine smile. "We were just blowing off some steam, you know. It was a hard week at work."

"Yeah," Bella remarks, looking suddenly awkward, and pushes her food around her plate with her fork. "Leah, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Leah tries to not show the tension in her face, but she's gripping her fork so tight her hand is starting to ache.

"It's about Edward," Bella says, looking even more nervous, and bites her lip. "I…I think…he's very upset with me."

It's like a slow motion car crash headed right toward Leah, and she can't do anything to stop it. Before she can do anything Bella breaks down into tears, covers her face with a thin paper napkin, and starts to apologize to Leah.

"Don't apologize, Bella," Leah says, trying to calm Bella down without actually touching her, which would just make this whole situation weirder and more uncomfortable. "I'm sure he's not mad at you."

"No, he is," Bella insists, shaking her head, and blows her nose into the napkin. "We had a fight, and he was so upset I don't even think he stayed here last night. I have no idea where he is right now."

"Maybe he had some stuff to do," Leah says, feeling lame and even more disgusted with herself than ever. "I'm sure things are fine; you guys always work things out."

"You don't understand," Bella argues and moves her chair closer to Leah. "It's all my fault. I was drunk and all worked up about this promotion. I want it so bad. You know how hard I've worked to get where I am at HP, and this promotion…well, it means the world to me."

"Of course it does," Leah replies, patting Bella's hand and wishing she could figure a way out of this conversation.

"Looking back now, I could have explained everything more clearly to him." Bella continues to talk and wipes at her eyes. "I should a have eased him into the idea of moving. Discussed it with him when we were both sober. I was just so excited, and he was so…angry."

Leah didn't hear anything after Bella said moving, her brain stuck on the word and the idea. Edward and Bella were moving. It clanks around in her head, like a loose piece of metal scrapping every surface it touches, and leave her ears ringing.

"Then I said something stupid and silly about you," Bella sighs, waving her hand in the air, and covers her face.

"What did you say about me?" Leah immediately jumps then quickly worries that she may have just stepped in an entirely new pile of shit.

"Oh, it was so silly, and I was drunk," Bella mutters and starts fiddling with her snot soaked napkin. "It's just…sometimes I get jealous of how close you two are."

Leah can feel her face transform into a mask of guilt and shakes her head, but Bella quickly leans forward to take hold of her hand. "I know it's silly and ridiculous, but sometimes I feel like a third wheel. Anyway, I made a stupid remark about how he would be more likely to move if you were going with us. It was the champagne talking, I promise."

Each time Bella pats Leah's hand, it feels like someone's hammering a ten-inch spike into her chest. The tears in Bella's face seem to tug at the ones that have been hiding behind Leah's eyes, and they spill in a sudden rush of shame. Leah isn't sure if she could hate herself more in this moment, then Bella hugs her, and she drowns in disgust.

"I'm so sorry, Bells," Leah whispers into Bella's hair, but she can't bring herself to hug Bella back.

"Oh, Lee Lee, it isn't your fault," Bella says, giving Leah a squeeze, and pulls back to grab them both fresh napkins. "Honestly, if there's anyone to blame it's me. I've been so wrapped up in my career and what I want, I haven't really thought about what Edward would want."

She looks thoughtful for a moment, while she carefully folds the edges of her napkin and sighs. "How horrible is that for me to say?"

"You're not horrible," Leah insists, wiping at her face with her napkin. "Trust me."

"Oh, don't be so sure," Bella says, shaking her head. "You might be surprised by how bad I can be."

Leah doesn't want to hear this. She doesn't want to be here, and she wishes that she could find a way to escape. She keeps wiping at her face and avoids meeting Bella's gaze. Bella seems to pick up on the tension and the growing silence.

"But enough about that," she says with a dismissive wave of her hand and brushes her hair out of her face. "We should get started on breakfast before it gets cold."

"Actually, I should go," Leah blurts out, standing up from the table abruptly. "I've got to meet some of the girls from the daycare to plan a field trip. I'm sorry."

It's a lie, a weak one at that, but Leah will take anything she can cling to. She needs to get away from Bella's sad expression and the smell of her husband that is still clinging to Leah's skin. If she doesn't get out now, she is sure she is going to go insane.

"Oh, okay," Bella says, her face crumpling a little more, and gets up to pull Leah into a hug. "Thank you for listening to my blubbering. I know you're not really comfortable with this kind of thing, but it I think it really helped."

"Sure, no problem," Leah replies with an awkward pat on Bella's back and gently pulls free.

"Bye," Bella calls after Leah but only gets a short wave before her stepsister disappears out the door.

Leah practically runs back to her apartment, her duffle bag slapping against her body and threatening to topple her over. She makes it to her building and flies up the stairs. Her keys are out and in the lock before she notices the envelope hanging from the number on the door. It has her name handwritten on the front. She knows that handwriting, and the sight of his careful script makes her stomach drop even as her pulse races.

She unlocks the door and grabs the envelope before going inside. Leah drops her bags and tears open the envelope, unable to wait another second before reading it. The paper feels so thin and feather-light in her hand, but the envelope still tugs heavily at her fingers. She ignores it in favor of the clean, neat lines of Edward's handwriting. _Far too neat for a doctor's handwriting_, she used to tease him.

As she reads the first few sentences the tears that she's been fighting back since she left his house resurface ten fold. Leah tries to take a step forward, thinking if she gets to her couch it will be easier to process the contents of the letter, but she trips over her bag and stumbles to the floor.

There's a dull clink of something hitting the floor, and she drags her eyes away from the letter to see Edward's spare key laying on the scratched surface of her hardwood floor. Leah crumples the paper in her hand, and tosses it into a far corner of the room. Fury burns through her, making her pound the floor with her fist, but even as her knuckles turn bloody she isn't sure with whom she's more angry, Edward or herself.

As the pain overtakes her rage, and good sense slowly kicks in, she stops. She has to stop this and face the truth. It is as much her fault as anyone. No matter how much it hurts to have Edward walk away, she knows it is the right thing to do. She needs to follow his example and let go.

After a few minutes of staring at the streaks of blood on her floor, she stands up and wipes her eyes. No sense crying over what should never have been in the first place. It's time to move on, time to grow up, and pray that their mistake doesn't tear apart the family.


	10. Chapter 10

_Leah,_

_It is so hard to think of the right words to explain myself. I suppose the first thing I should say is I am so sorry. I know that you will say I've apologized enough, that you're tired of hearing it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be said or that you don't deserve it. You do._

_I wish I could change what happened between us. Not to take it away but rather to change the setting and circumstances surrounding it. If I had the power I would change a lot of things. _

_The one thing I need you to know, to believe, no matter what may happen, no matter what I say from this day forward, is that I will never, ever regret what we shared. I will treasure that forever._

_I care a great deal for you, and that is why I need to do this. You deserve better; you always have, and I want you to have it. I want you to be happy, Leah. I truly wish I could be the one to give that to you, but I'm not. We both know that I bring you nothing but pain, and it has to stop._

_I will understand if you hate me, in fact, I think it might be easier for you if you did. I wish you the best. I don't doubt you will find it. You really are beautiful, inside and out. Someone would have to be blind to not see that._

_Yours_

_Edward_

* * *

><p>Edward waited until Leah had disappeared down the block, and out of sight before he stepped out from the bushes. He felt a little silly for hiding, but he had to be sure to not be seen. Despite his confidence and surety that he was doing the right thing, Edward wasn't sure he could stay strong if he was face to face with Leah. He needs distance from her as much as she needed it from him. It was the only way they were going to work past what happened.<p>

He takes a second to brush some pine needles off his jacket and takes a deep breath before entering his house. The air is filled with the mouthwatering scents of pancakes and bacon. They do nothing to tempt his already roiling stomach. Edward isn't really sure when he would ever have an appetite to eat again.

"Hello?" Bella's voice echoes through the hallway, and he can see her walking down the corridor. "Lee, is that you?"

"No, it's just me," he replies, trying not to sound unsteady, and fails completely.

"Edward?" Bella closes the distance in a run and throws herself into his arms. "I was so worried. Where have you been?"

"I was at the church," he says, holding her close and trying to ignore the twist of guilt it causes. "I'm sorry if I made you worry."

She pulls back, shaking her head, and wipes at her eyes. "Don't mind me." They walk into the kitchen, and she sits him down, taking the seat next to him. "You're probably starving; let me get you something."

"Bella," Edward catches her hand before she can walk away and pulls her down to sit. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay," she sighs, looking resigned and a bit guilty. "I suppose we should."

"Yes, it's long overdue," he agrees, gently patting her hand and feels oddly calm.

"I'm so sorry for springing the news about Houston on you like that," Bella starts in immediately and looks close to tears. "It wasn't fair to expect you to go along with it, and I wish I could have done it differently."

"Thank you," Edward says, trying not to show how much it hurts him to see her crying. "But there are bigger issues we need to talk about."

"Bigger issues?" Bella blinks, looking confused, and shakes her head. "What do you mean?"

"Bella," he sighs, struggling to find the right words, and flounders a little. "We haven't been like we used to be. There's this distance, and I'm not talking about the physical distance, though it is part of how we got here. Regardless how it started, our marriage is in serious trouble, and we need to be honest about it, if we're ever going to have any hope of fixing it."

He lets out a long steam of air, relieved that he finally got it all out. It takes a few minutes for him to notice the silence that's fallen over the room. When he looks up he can see that Bella's eyes are wide, and her face is a bright shade of crimson.

"How…Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry," Bella erupts into tears and covers her face with her hands. "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen."

Edward stares at Bella for a long moment, while his mind puts together what her sobbing and words mean. The shock of it rocks him a little, like a lightning bolt stabbing down the center of his body. It's feels like God just smacked him in the face, and he supposes that in a way he kind of did.

Bella is babbling about being lonely on her business trips, about spending time with Jasper. She trips over her words, says things about feeling a connection with her boss and how at first she mistook her feelings for friendship. It is like hearing his own words and thoughts thrown back at him, before he even had a chance to make a confession.

"Do you love him?" The words fall from Edward's lips even as the thought forms in his mind.

"I…I don't know," Bella replies, not meeting his gaze, and wipes at her tears with the damp, shredded remains of a paper napkin. "Maybe. God, you must hate me!"

"I don't hate you, Bella" Edward says, folding his hands over hers and gives her a reassuring smile. "I could never hate you."

"I don't know how you couldn't," she insists and continues to sob.

"Because I am just as guilty as you are," he sighs, picking up a fresh napkin and gently dabs at her damp face. "I know things look bleak right now, but I promise we'll work this out."

"How can you be so sure?" Bella looks bewildered and gives him a confused shake of her head, but he only smiles a little wider.

"I love you," he replies, feeling for the first time in a long time that he is doing the right thing.


	11. Epilogue

"Will you grab the salad bowl and get started on those cucumbers for me?" Sue calls out orders, while Leah and Charlie run themselves ragged around the house.

"Baby, what is a colander, and where in the hell am I supposed to find it?" Charlie asks, emerging from the pantry with something that looks suspiciously like brown sugar in his hair and on his shirt.

"It looks like a big bowl with holes in it, and it's in the cupboard under the silverware," Sue replies with a chuckle and gently brushes the sugar from his hair.

Leah stifles her own laughter as she chops vegetables and smiles to herself. She can't remember the last time she felt so…well, she wasn't quite sure how to name the feeling. Maybe it was free. It wasn't quite happy.

Sure, it's great to spend time with her mom and Charlie, and she is ecstatic about finally getting hired by the Seattle School District. Still, what she is feeling is a kind of weightless, stressless…freedom. Yeah, she supposes this must be what it feels like to finally be rid of her guilt.

Not that it was easy. Leah still gets a little queasy when she thinks about that awkward phone conversation with Bella. Two days after Edward had returned her key, her cell phone rang. For a few seconds she was sure it was him. She answered without looking at the screen and was shocked to hear Bella's voice.

"_I just want to know one thing," Bella spoke immediately, her tone harsh and forceful. _

"_Bella, I'm sorry," Leah sputtered and felt even more pathetic than she had over the past two days._

"_I don't want to hear it, Lee." Bella snapped. "Just tell me – do you love him?"_

"_Yes," Leah answered, and the line immediately went dead._

It was another six months before Leah spoke to her stepsister again. She never thought they could move past what happened, but things changed a great deal after Bella and Edward got a divorce.

"Are you done making that salad? The turkey is going to get cold," Charlie says, setting his hand on her shoulder and taking the bowl from her hand. "Wake up, Leah. There'll be plenty of time for napping after we eat."

He gives her wink and walks over to set the bowl on the table. Leah watches her mother and stepfather fuss over the food and smiles to herself. Thanksgiving has been so much easier this year. Her old bitter self would have thought it was because Bella isn't here, but she knows it has nothing to do with that.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that Bella called this morning," Sue says, while passing Leah a plate of asparagus, and slaps Charlie's hand as he tries to reach for another roll.

"How is Bells doing?" Leah takes the plate and snickers at Charlie's wounded expression.

"Other than _very pregnant_, she's fine," Sue laughs and leans over to kiss Charlie's cheek. "I swear, it will be a miracle if that husband of hers survives this pregnancy, not to mention the others they want to have."

"How many are they talking about having?" Leah asks around a bit of turkey.

"Six, last time I asked Bella," Sue says with a snort. "Though when I asked Jasper the answer was eight."

"Jesus, after the fourth one they'll be walking out of her," Leah comments, and Charlie spits out a mouth full of beer.

"Leah Anne Clearwater," Sue says but can't hold back her laughter.

"I'm sorry, but it's true and scary," Leah insists, shaking her head. "You guys better enjoy their kids. Lord knows, I'm not popping out puppies any time soon."

"What about that nice boy you met at the wedding?" Sue gives her a teasing look, sipping her own beer, and Leah immediately wants to slap her mother for taunting her in front of Charlie. "What was his name again?"

"Felix and I are just friends," Leah snaps, rolling her eyes, and quickly takes a large bite of turkey.

"What a shame. I thought you two…you know, got along really well." Sue stumbles over the wording and stifles a snicker.

Leah rolls her eyes at her mother's euphemism. "Yeah, we really made a _connection_." The truth was Leah and Felix spent four days fucking on every surface of his hotel room.

Felix is a business associate of Jasper's, an Italian executive that works for some European pharmaceutical company. She doesn't know a lot about what he does for living or many other details about his personal life. All Leah really needed to know about Felix was he was nothing like Edward.

He was tall, muscular, with jet-black hair and dark blue eyes. From the moment he introduced himself and asked her to dance he never hesitated to make it clear he found her attractive. He told her she was stunning, graceful, and insisted it was insane that she didn't have a date for the wedding.

After two dances, he asked her if she wanted to join him in his hotel room, and Leah had quickly accepted. He barely had the door to his room open before he was kissing and undressing her. His aggression was a relief and so flattering, but most of all it was what she needed. That feeling of being desired and taken, following each other in a natural progression. It was a revelation and an awakening. This is how it is supposed to work, how it should work for people who are attracted to each other. Two _single_ people.

Felix told her in great detail what he found sexy about her; he told her she was gorgeous and wild. He laughed at her crude jokes, insisted on feeding her decadent desserts from the room service menu, and he was fascinated by her size ten feet. When their time together was up there were no dramatic displays. He kissed her soundly, gave her his card, and insisted she call him if she were ever in Italy. They email each other from time to time, usually so Felix can share some horribly offensive American joke that a coworker has told him. Occasionally, she gets packages from Milan with ridiculously extravagant shoes in her size, and a card from Felix that would simply say.

"_Mi mancano I tuoi piedi."_ Which she discovered, after typing it into Google Translate, means _I miss your feet._

He was nice and a great lay, but he wasn't the love of her life.

"Who names their kid after a cartoon cat?" Charlie grumbles, while he dabs his napkin at his flannel shirt.

"He's Italian, Charlie. I'm sure it's perfectly normal for them," Sue says, taking the napkin from his hand, and tugs on his shirt. "Just take it off and I'll wash it after dinner."

Charlie sighs and stands up from the table to pull off his shirt. "I'll grab a fresh one from upstairs."

As soon as her stepfather disappears, Leah's mother leans forward and starts to speak in a dramatic whisper. "All joking aside, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you two, baby."

"It's not a big deal, Mom," Leah sighs, trying to avoid the look in her mother's eyes. "I don't need a guy to make my life complete."

"Watch it, young lady." Sue gives her a sharp look and points her fork in a threatening gesture. "I know you and Bella have had your differences in the past, but you of all people should not fault her for what makes her happy."

Leah shrinks back a little under her mother's intense gaze, knowing full well that her mother is aware of the part she played in Edward and Bella's divorce. It was probably the hardest part of the fall out, facing her mother's judgment. Much to Leah's surprise, her mother had been understanding and not all that surprised. She said the closeness between Edward and Leah had always been evident, but she'd trusted them to keep it in check.

"I swear I wasn't trying to be mean," Leah insists, staring at her plate, and tries to breath past the strange tightening in her chest. "It's just, sometimes I think I blew my one chance, and if I keep trying to look for it again I'm going to drive myself insane. I'm fine with where my life is, and that's all I can focus on right now.

The table shifts a little, and she hears her mother's chair creak. Then Sue's hand is on the side of her face, making her look up into dark brown eyes that look so much like her own. Her mother smiles at her and kneels beside her.

"Baby, love isn't like that at all," Sue says with a wide smile and confidant tone. "I know from experience that we get more than one shot at love. You'll get another chance at it; I promise."

"Thanks, Mom," she says, giving her mother a smile and gets a kiss on her forehead.

"You're welcome," Sue replies, standing up and returning to her seat. "Now, stop trying to hide your vegetables under your mashed potatoes, and eat them like the adult I know you are."

Leah laughs, shaking her head at her mother's far too sharp eyes and reluctantly uncovers her green beans.

The knock on the door startles both of them, but it's Sue that immediately stands up from her chair Leah follows suit. It's strange that her mother should be so jump all of sudden. They both make it into the living room just as Charlie opens the front door.

Edward stands in the doorway, his wet hair dripping water in shining, silvery streaks down his smiling face. "Hey."

"There you are," Charlie says, waving him inside and chuckling at his appearance.

"Sorry we're late," he apologizes, carrying two large suitcases into the entryway and reveals an equally soaked Seth behind him. "My navigator apparently doesn't know the difference between East and West."

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm all turned around from living on the other side of the state," Seth argues with a wide grin and hugs Charlie, after setting down another suitcase. "Besides, I'm not the one that forgot to get snow tires before going over the Pass."

"Are you kidding me?" Charlie turns to glare at Edward, who shrugs sheepishly. "I thought I told you to get that done before you even left the city."

"Mom," Leah hisses, tugging on her mother's arms, and pulls her back into the dining room. "What is he doing here?"

"We invited him, of course," Sue replies, pulling her arm out of Leah's grip, and turns to face her daughter with a pointed look. "He offered to pick up Seth from Pullman, since your car died. I figured it was a great opportunity to have him spend time with the family."

"How does Bella feel about this?" Leah crosses her arms and fixes her mother with an steady glare.

"She told me she was fine with it," Sue reassures her and sighs heavily. "Leah, they may not be in love anymore, but they still care for one another; we are the only family he has in this state."

"Mom, I don't know…I mean-" Leah chokes a little on her words, unsure of what she's trying to say.

Seeing Edward out of the blue like this, after all this time is…weird. Thinking back she an acknowledge that she didn't have the flash of intense need she used to have when she saw him, though she still finds him attractive. There is no denying that he still looks fantastic despite the stress of the divorce. Still, Leah feels unsteady having him so close.

"No one's asking you to be anything more than polite to each other, Baby," Sue says, her expression softening, and she reaches out to tuck a loose lock of hair behind Leah's ear. "However, no one would blame you if you followed your heart now that you're both free to do so."

"Mother!" Leah jerks back and stares at her mother in disbelief.

"Hey, why are you two hiding over here?" Seth appears beside them and scoops up Sue in a bear hug, nearly lifts her feet off the floor.

"Put her down before you smother her to death," Leah says, playfully slapping at her brother's thick arms, and gets wrapped into a hug within seconds.

After a few seconds, Leah punches Seth in the stomach, and he releases them both with an exaggerated groan of pain. They walk over to the dining room table, and Sue catches Leah's arm, holding her back for just a second.

"Think about what I said, Lee," she whispers, giving Leah a kiss on the cheek, and releases her arm.

Leah watches her mother take her seat at the table and remembers her words about second chances at love. She wonders just how long her mother has loved Charlie Swan. Before she can dwell on it too long, Charlie and Edward walk into the room. Their whispered conversation ends quickly, and they break apart to take their seats at the table. Leah tries to not groan out loud when her mother directs Edward to sit in the chair next her. He takes the seat, and they begin to pass the dishes of food around the table.

"Could you pass me the green beans?" Edward gives her a bright smile, but she can see the corners of his eyes are pinched slightly.

She hands him the dish and leans closer to whisper. "You don't have to play along for my mother's sake."

"I don't know what you mean," he whispers back, and begins to scoop green beans onto his plate.

Leah takes a sip of her beer and grinds her teeth then leans in again. "I mean, I'll make up an excuse to leave early so you don't have to deal with me being here."

Edward freezes, setting down the bowl and serving spoon, "Do you want me to leave?"

"I didn't say that," Leah sighs and wishes she had never started this ridiculously awkward conversation. "I…after what…I figured you wouldn't want me around."

"Leah," Edward says, placing his hand over hers in plain view of everyone at the table, and turns to smile at her. "You're the reason I'm here."

* * *

><p><strong>Afterwords<strong>

Yes, that's the end.

I must admit, when I first claimed this prompt I didn't think that cheating was a legit kink, but some of the reactions to this story are proof enough to convince me that it most definitely is one. While I tried to write a realistic portrayal of infidelity, I also wrote it for someone that has a kink for cheating and who specifically asked for this pairing. I hope that I wrote what they wanted, because that was the main purpose of this story.

Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed. Big Thanks to my beta, Jessypt and to Sadtomato for providing some invaluable feedback on these last few chapters. Thanks to the host of the TwiKinkFest.

Special thanks to the prompter for inspiring me to stretch myself and to write a fic I never thought I could write.


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